Help with bana issues

Vaheguroo ji,

Basicaly Dass has been blessed with being able to wear Guroo sahibs bana everyday, not because I want to show off, not because I think I'm better than anyone else, not to draw attention to myself, but because I am the lowest of the absolute low. I love it because it's so simple, it's Guroosahibs image and also when I went to went to India, a mahapurakh gavme hukam to wear it everyday as it is part of Maryada.

Recently it seems that some sangat have a problem with mewearing it which really breaks my heart. The sangat at the Gurdwara think I'm showing off because I think I'm a Sant. Even a 'gursikh' had told me through krodh that I shouldn't wear it anymore. That was really upsetting as Gursikhs should be supporting each other.

When I was coming home from a Kirtan dabar my mum took me to my cousins house as they were having a get together and I was not aware that there would be alcohol present. Anyway they got drunk and once again said how the other amritdhars go to the Gurdwara in normal clothes and I should too. More things were said but nothing positive.

It's getting me really depressed that so many people and saying things about my bana sahib and have a problem with it.

I would like Gursikhi view on what to do please. My one Benti

Do not be so intimidated by what others sAy. Once we offer our head how can we intimidated by the opinions of others? Sikhism is a distinct religion with a distinct appearance by by keeping this distinctness and not wavering to the beliefs of the self willed people one will only get more and more blessings from Guru sahib.

ਸਿਰੁ ਦੀਜੈ ਕਾਣਿ ਨ ਕੀਜੈ ॥੨੦॥
ਨਾਲਿ ਕਿਰਾੜਾ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਕੂੜੈ ਕੂੜੀ ਪਾਇ ॥


ਜਬ ਲਗ ਖਾਲਸਾ ਰਹੇ ਨਿਆਰਾ। ਤਬ ਲਗ ਤੇਜ ਦੀਉ ਮੈਂ ਸਾਰਾ। ਜਬ ਇਹ ਗਹੇ ਬਿਪਰਨ ਕੀ ਰੀਤ। ਮੈ ਨ ਕਰਉ ਇਨ ਕੀ ਪਰਤੀਤ।

I have been through situations as well & was very dissapointed when my own sister told me that I should not wear a bana --- it does not look nice, you look like a kid ---- seriously (I thought)???

Shocked to hear such words from my own sister - it was sad but in the end I feel proud of wearing it as it's a gift from my father.

I feel this is a test Guru Sahib ji makes us go through to see where we stand.

"It's getting me really depressed that so many people and saying things about my bana sahib and have a problem with it."
We shouldn't blame others on us become depressed - as it is really our mind that thinks about such things and becomes depressed. Why think about such things? Are we hurting anyone by wearing our bana? I don't think so --- if we are not hurting anyone's feeling by doing such so why should we become depressed???


I cherish this gift even more since I've had similar experience - as only those who wear it & cherish it can understand its meaning

& those who don't wear it - Guru Sahib will bless them one day

Wearing Baana is a Hukam of Guru Sahib and we should try our best to obey this Hukam. We cannot make this world happy and if people are not happy with us for following Guru Sahib's Hukam, we should not get upset or depressed. This world has not spared even Guru Sahibaan and Mahapurakhs. How can we mortal beings expect to please it? We need to please only Guru Sahib and irrespective of what the world says, we should continue to keep Rehit including wearing Baana.

Stay strong. Do more Paath and if possible do more Sangat of Gursikhs who are like-minded.

Kulbir Singh

Whilst wearing bana, try not to ever be around people who are drunk, like ever. well im sure Guru ji must be looking down at you and smiling , thinking oh there goes my beautiful son wearing beautiful bana.

if you can wear bana every day then to me that means you are keeping your rehat and therefore you are 'eligible' to wear bana every day. I would only approve of a person wearing their full bana when they're strict in their discipline......and if you are then I am so proud of you my brother! God bless your heart and soul. I do not approve of anyone wearing a chola when they don't even do their nitnem...im sure Guru Sahib wound't be proud either.

I don't understand why some gursikhs are hating on you for wearing it, maybe they are jealous? God knows. But they deffinitely don't understand your devotion behind wearing full bana. Sorry you are going through this. Don't worry about explaining to them they will just make you feel worse. Guru Ji knows every thing, He will help you dear brother.I am sure there are others who do appreciate you wearing it. There are always 2 sides to a coin ..... God bless your heart.

so that means dhan guroo nanak is a male =P

lol whaaaaa? expnad on that please.....

vaheguroo
i meant that since you keep calling him "my brother", it would be given to understand that dhan guroo nanak username is a male.
HEHE

anyways bhai sahib jee or bhenjeeo, whichever might be the case

daas himself tries to wear kurta pajam to skool twice thrice a week (only have one pair, that's why).
once again, others have learned to appreciate it and respect the choice, whilst my own family and group of "friends" consider it to be abnormal.

They think that I have become a Sant or something. Family is very sarcastic about it and never misses a chance to rub it in my face.

"pant kameez paun naal toon narak jaunaa"
or
"chola paa ke jeevan safal nahe ho jaunda"

are the common comments.

So once again, don't consider yourself to be the only one in this situation, because there are many others in the same boat.

This is a test as mentioned. Stay strong.

I can't wait to see there reaction when i get another 5-6 pairs sewn from India
hehe

stay strong. keep it up. sir ucha rakho =)
ok jee

Vaheguru,

I also get a lot of comments from my parents, except there a little wierd about it, when i go to Guru Ghar with bana with my parents, sometimes some of the elders will comment about me to my parents, stuff like you guys are blessed to have a son like him that wears bana, and things like that, at that point they puff there chests out as far as possible, and have a proud look on there face, but if you rewind the scence maybe half an hour back they were giving snide comments about me wearing bana and how i do it all for "show" and that i'm trying to impress people..... it amuses me to no end.

Rabnit Singh

HAHAHAHHA Guru Nanak Dev ji is my brother then woeeee ...lol

lol im not even going to tell about the comments i have been given, they made me miserable yet they made me laugh too. lol going to hell by wearing kurta pajama comment was really funny lol do see the humour?

vaheguroojikakhalsa vaheguroojikifateh

Ranbit singh, i have the exact same problem my parents get all proud when someone says that they r lucky to have a gursikh son but when i tell them to also follow sikhi they get mad and call me a terrorist. I'm still preparing to take amrit, but my parents said i can not take amrit until i turn 25 and i'm only 15, i don't care what my parents do im going to take amrit this upcoming august at any cost. im am sick and tired of being bullied by family members. my family doesn't even let me wear a kurta pyjama, they also don't want me to tie a dumalla

vaheguroojikakhalsa vaheguroojikifateh

hahha isn't it funny how waheguru ji keeps putting kids who want to take amrit into families that don't want them to...God you are so amazingly funny!!!!!!

Vjkk Vjkf,

don't let it get you down, all this is, is a test from Guru jee. You have to make sure you pass it, don't worry about what your parents say, wear your bana.

Rabnit Singh

i just want to noe how many singhs and singhnee wear bana to school or work? (i.e elementary, highschool, university)
and if you do, have people ever said any good or bad comments to you? and how do you do with those situations

Gursevak jeeo,

please read a story about a kid wearing Baana to school at this link:

[gurmatbibek.com]

Kulbir Singh

Gursevak Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> i just want to noe how many singhs and singhnee
> wear bana to school or work? (i.e elementary,
> highschool, university)
> and if you do, have people ever said any good or
> bad comments to you? and how do you do with those
> situations


In my previous job at the Interview i did not wear BaNa. During those days I would only wear BaNa at the Gurdwara Sahib and kirtan programs. Whenever I would wear BaNa at these places I would always feel happy and get sad when I would have to change during the week. Slowly Slowly through Guru Sahibs kirpa I started having a strong urge to wear BaNa all the time. I use to think it was not possible to wear BaNa at work since I showed up to the interview in Western attire. I also thought it was wrong just to show up wearing BaNa one day since at the interview I dressed in Western attire. I was ready to quit my job because I had such a strong urge to wear BaNa.

Eventually I talked to the Principal at my work place about my desire to wear " Traditional Sikh Dress" I showed him pictures of what it looks like, and he said this would not violate the schools dress code. When I first started to wear BaNa at work which was at a public Junior High School it took time for some students and other staff to see a different in appearance. Keep in mind that I worked in a city where there was no Sikhs and only a few Asian people they really had no idea what a Sikh was so there was perhaps 1 or 2 racist minded people whom did not like this apperance.

I first started wearing Kurta Pajama then I eventually started to wear Chola which I like most. Nobody gave me any problems. In fact, they respected me more for keeping my distinct appearance. They would even smile at me whenever I saw them. Some would often be curious and ask me questions about BaNa.

The truth of the matter people think others will judge you and treat you different if you wear BaNa. This is really an individual insecurity. If you are a Singh you already stand out with a dastar and dara so hows wearing BaNa going to make things worser? The sad thing is Western people are not the ones who judge we only think this because Punjabi people who judge and are the most insecure put these insecure ideas in our mind. If you work hard and treat people nicely through Gurmat virtues nobody will give you any problems they will just respect you more.

Beautiful story Bhai Sukhdeep Singh jeeo and Subhaan Subhaan that you were blessed with this effort by Guru Sahib.

Kulbir Singh

I remember something like this in my life too, couple of years ago. I would be at college and I would have a lot of people ask me about my dastar. I remember once when I came down in the elevator, the doors opened and i stepped out. This girl just walked up to me and started touching my dumalla and she was awe struck I think, she said it was beautiful and so, it was an interesting experience. I did get some people who made fun of me but oh well.

I think there are more people who will admire you than the number of those who won't, and those who won't have their own problems...let them be and just bless them and perhaps one day their minds will alter..