Following request by a member of the forum daas is posting the conversation with a relative few months ago about why bibek rehat is important.
Daas can’t remember line by line discussion but here is a summary:
R: I am ready to take Amrit but one thing which I find very difficult is when I go back to India how will I manage my lifestyle around all relations and friend circle.
D: Why do you worry about all of them when all you need to think is the only true relation which is between Guru sahib and his Sikh.
R: Yes that’s fine but what about eating. You say I cannot eat from non amritdharis. I have so many friends who are non Sikh leave aside non amritdhari. They come to my house and I visit them. We often do sangat together. I even have a muslim lady friend. When I do Sukhmani Sahib path they come and sit with me and listen to the path and same way I do attend their prayers as well.
D: We need to discuss that aspect as well. But let’s just focus on first removing confusion about sharing food.
R: Yes this looks like bahmanvaad to me. Guru sahib made us to consider all human beings equal and your jatha says do not eat from other human beings.
D: Its not my jatha or your jatha. We all belong to same Khalsa Panth once we get amrit. And also its not only one jatha within the panth that follows this rehat. First of all you need to be very clear that whatever you hear from other people about Akhand Kirtani Jatha being too much rigid on rehat... There are singhs in this jatha and other institutes within the panth that follow strict bibek rehat and then there are others within Akhand kirtani jatha and others as well who do not follow this rehat. People are going in so many different directions these days. That’s why we have so much confusion in the panth.
R: But when people go to Akal Takht to get amrit they do not tell you to keep bibek.
D: They do.
R: No they don’t. I know so many people who have taken amrit from there but are not bibeki.
D: Again you are confusing people with rehat. Look Rehat is what guru sahib gives and what people interpret and follow it is different story. I know so many people myself who take amrit and then start drinking alcohol does this means they were given rehat that allowed them drinking alcohol?
R: But I asked some of them and they said they were not told by panj piare to keep bibek.
D: Did panj piare ask them to keep roti beti di sanjh with Sikh only?
R: Yes
D: Do you believe to become a Sikh of the Guru (or Guruvala) you have to take amrit?
R: Yes
D: Then its clear. Panj piare told these people in clear term to keep roti beti di sanjh with Sikh of the Guru. If they are now eating from hands of nadimaar, kudimaar, and non amritdhari naam dharik Sikhs how can we blame the Akal Takht mariyada.
R: I never thought it that way.
R: But then still when you go to the Gurdwara Sahib. Langar is made by non amritdharis everywhere. But once they do ardaas and bhog of langar in front of Guru sahib it becomes parvaan (Accepted). What’s wrong in eating that?
D: These days gurdwaras are controlled by manmukhs in most of places. Even people who drink and smoke are in the committee. Can you expect them to follow rehat maryada?
R: No. But the bhai ji who does the ardaas and bhog is amritdhari. So what’s wrong then.
D: Those who are doing these ardaas are also equally responsible for this. They are in a way trying to stand in front of Guru sahib and ask guru sahib to eat food prepared by smokers, alcoholics and drug addicts.
R: But not everyone in sangat is like that.
D: You are again going back to same point. When we have been given hukam to only have roti di saanjh with a Sikh which you agree is required to be amrit dhari then how come we expect Guru sahib will eat the food prepared by such people.
R: Guru sahib looks at the love.
D: Yes he does. I never said he doesn’t. But where is the love for guru in life of a non amritdhari or a smoker or an alcoholic who is not even willing to become Guru Vala.
R: but if we push people like this no one will want to become a Sikh.
D: We don’t need to push people. We need to explain to people in a humble way. But sometimes you need a stick as well when people don’t listen.
R: Hmmm,,..
D: I will give you an example to make it bit more clear. Do you see big sign boards outside every Gurdwara in India and abroad saying Tobacco and Alcohol is not allowed within the premises?
R: Yes
D: I have personally caught atleast 3 people within last 1 year at the Gurdwara sahib who had cigarette packets in their pocket and serving langar.
R: (Looks surprised and shocked)
D: Now imagine if Gurdwara sahib was following the strict rule of only allowing Amritdhari to do seva will this happen?
R: No
D: That’s it. To remain in a system, we need to follow rules. These rules are made by assuming all the positives and negatives that can happen. Similarly Guru Sahib made some rules for his Khalsa. Not smoking, adultery etc ... look at the world today... slowly everyone is realising how much problem these things create. Cancer, AIDS ..... When Sikhs didn’t do these bad things lot of people in India laughed at them. Look he can’t smoke or he can’t have a relation... Now the same wordly scientists are proving what Guru Sahib already proved so many years ago. Similarly so far the world hasn’t understood the meaning of Bibek. But I am sure one day it will. If we stick to the rules that Guru Sahib gave us, we do not have the chance of falling in these pitfalls. Today every nadimaar, kudimaar is coming to the langar and cooking the food. I have not seen a single version of rehat maryada be it SGPC one, Taksaal one or any other one which allows a Sikh to have roti beti di sanjh with any of these. And we are openly doing that.
R: You are right. But..
D: This but and if has to stop somewhere. Do you want to go out to hotels and other places and eat when you don’t even know who is cooking. If that person has even washed his hands... if he smoked before cooking..
R: No. But what about my friends. They are all vegetarian. They don’t smoke. They are very good at keeping cleanliness.
D: But they are not following the Guru sahib. They are not Sikh. And Gurbani very clearly says that we do not sangat of such people. Do sangat of Gurmukh and stay away from Manmukh. What lifestyle a person follows has impact on the food he cooks. So do you want to end up eating food which has been prepared by tyar bar tyar gursikh who does bandagi or by some of your friends who would be watching television while cooking this food?
R: Obviously naam simran wala food is going to be better. But they can do path while cooking as well.
D: There is no gurantee. Similar to there being no guarantee of the person who is cooking food in Gurdwara langar or in hotel. You allow one relaxation... you end up allowing more and slowly and slowly you get into the pitfall. Rehat becomes weak and you end up slowly distancing yourself from the Guru. I have faced same circumstances. When I kept bibek rehat I found that my life was in chardhi kala. As soon as became dhilla I lost all the chardhi kala. I reached a point where I was not even doing nitnem... This is why we need to follow the rehat steadfast. I know it will be difficult in beginning but Guru sahib helps so much once you start it becomes a child’s play in a very short time. So do not worry about what world will think. Just focus on what Guru is telling you to do as he is the only true friend and relation. Guru sahib has given us this rehat knowing we become weak so he wants to keep us away from all that weakness. He wants us to guard our amrit with this rehat.
R: Yes it makes sense. I am now more clear on this. I will start practicing it for few days so that I am used to it when there is Amrit sanchar.
D: That's excellent. I hope Guru sahib does his kirpa on you and us as well to follow the rehat.
ਸਤਿਗੁਰਬਚਨਕਮਾਵਣੇਸਚਾਏਹੁਵੀਚਾਰੁ॥