I am tired of this bickering, which is the result of being alone
I am tired of this whining, which makes me constantly moan
I am tired of being gloomy, which is because I am lonely
I am tired of being sad, which is because there is nothing homely
I am tired of being down and staying in depression
Whereas I used to be the one full of life and aggression
I am tired of this wailing which is out of being homesick
Such emotions can’t be measured by any yardstick
What is the point of living all stressed?
When against the wall of misery your back remains pressed
What is the point of indulging in worry?
Spending life’s precious moments in a hurry
Why live in a state of always being tensed?
As then God’s grace is never being sensed
Living every breath with bothering anxiety
I invite miseries of every variety
I’ve had my share of sudden panic attacks
And forgotten what it means to relax
Gurujee! How will I get your grace? Am I even eligible?
When I fret over issues that are so very negligible
Gurujee! How will I be saved, as I am so persistent?
Banging my head for problems non-existent
I have no hope, and I continue to fear
Yet Your words of consolation I continue to hear
My faith slips on every bump on this track
And I fall into the smallest possible crack
Yet You say it loud and clear
“Why to worry when I am here!”
Forgive me Gurujee, and my thankless nature
Blind to your grace, blessings and stature
Forgive me Gurujee, and my restless mind
You have saved so many of my kind
Forgive me Gurujee, and my constant cries
I am far from contentment, with dullness in my eyes
I leave it all in Your hands
Save me from these demons with fangs
I leave it all at Your feet
I have no faith left in whoever I meet
May I never leave Your hem, no matter how severe the storm
Let the miseries come in whatever numbers, or in whichever form
May I never lose faith in Your eternal grace
And wreck blows to every pain right in its face
Keep me in Your service Maharaaj, and may I never be fired
And as You know, and as You can see Gurujee, I am really very tired
- Mehtab Singh
Sept. 21 2007