Possible responses to give to people asking a Gursikh about Bibek Food Rehat?

Guru Pyaari'o

I found that young Gursikhs trying to observe a level of Gurmat Bibek for food (whether it be only eating food prepared by Amritdharis or eating from Sarbloh utensils or any other level of Bibek) are often questioned by their parents, family, and members of the Sangat about why they are doing this, wanting justification for this behaviour.

Firstly, I think for someone who is not familiar with Gurmat Rehat it is perfectly acceptable for them to be curious about a particular Rehat. However, more often this leads to anxiety, worry and resentment from the other person against the person keeping Rehat because the person keeping Rehat cannot provide a reason that makes sense to other person.

I think it is really important that to avoid the general Sangat and members of our family to resent our personal Rehat and think we are misguided and even "anti-Gurmat" that young Gursikhs should be equipped with different responses to give to people about the Rehat they are maintaining (whether it be Amritdhari Bibek or Sarbloh Bibek etc).

Sometimes you have to give an answer depending on the person asking it. So answers vary on levels of depth and length. Usually the more shorter and concise replies are more effective.

I think it would be helpful for everyone for Gursikhs to share effective and successful responses they given to people when questioned about their personal Rehat in regards to food.

Thanks

Manvir Singh

Bhai Manvir Singh jeeo,

The following response was written in response to Bibi jee at the following link:

[gurmatbibek.com]

Quote

Bhain jeeo,

As Bhai Gurdas Singh pointed out, it is usually hard to explain or reason out with the family as to why you can't eat from them anymore. Ones who are from Gursikh families have it easy but ones who come from regular families and want to keep Khalsa rehit, have to face some difficult time explaining why you can'teat from them. The worse mistake you can make is to lose patience. It will increase hostility from their side.

The wise thing to do is to try reasoning out why you keep Bibek. Make sure you hightlight the fact that purpose behind keeping dietary Bibek is not that you consider yourself superior and them inferior. The reason why Bibek is kept is to obey the hukam of Guru Sahib. Guru Sahib's hukam is to consider oneself as lowest of all. This is the play of Vaheguru and in this play our role is to play the role of Gursikhs. Why we do certain things is not for us to know. Our side of the contract is to obey the hukams of Guru Sahib and Guru Sahib's role is to bring union between us and our beloved one - Vaheguru. We play our role of obeying the hukams and Guru Sahib enables us to meet Vaheguru.

It would be a good idea if you gave your parents Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh jee's autobiography translated in English. It may bring some awareness about the Gurmat Bibek.

The foremost thing to do is to do an ardaas. Afterall, Vaheguru is sitting inside them too. If Vaheguru wills, there will be no problem at all.

We have all gone through this. At first our relatives were angry but as they saw positive Gurmukhi change in us, they adjusted and chose to ignore the dietary Bibek side of us.

Kulbir Singh

Most people in my family are not AmritDhari. They too often question bibek. I simply tell them that this diet is based on people who want to live a life of Naam contemplation. I mention to them that early in the morning its our habit to rise and meditate on Naam, then make an honest living and meditate on Naam. When I explain to them the concept of Naam, I then tell them that to keep this Naam in place the food one eats must be prepared when reciting Naam by a person who follows the Sikh code of conduct.

I then explain to them that a persons thoughts/thinking makes an impact on the the food. I give an example of fast food which is often made in a hurry. Those people who eat such food are more likely to have an unstable mind. With an unstable mind its much more hard to concentrate on Naam. When I explain these things most people seem to understand.

The other day I went to a kirtan program and I did not eat the food. As I was leaving a young Bhenji who mentioned to me before that one day I want to take Amrit quickly approached and said

" You cannot leave without eating. Oh yeah I forgot you only eat from AmritDhari people "

I laughed and said if you want me to eat your food then take Amrit. She laughed to and understood. So I think your right depending on the person one must give a different response.

Once Daas was invited by a Gursikh family to do Sevaa of the Sangat at at their local Gurdwara Sahib.

I spoke to the family and explained that Daas's Rehat in regards to food and they happily said that they would make sure that food Daas was served was made by Amritdharis.

After the programme finished a young Bibi jee approached me and said she had questions which she wanted answering. One of her questions was "What is your vichaar on people who don't eat Langar?" Considering this Gurdwara doesn't have many Amritdharis and the few Amritdharis that are there eat khullaa Langar, I assumed that she is discreetly aiming the question at me. Although Bhenji seemed a nice person she seemed slightly frustrated with this issue and I could sense this tension.

I replied, "Bhenji, who doesn't eat Langar?" She said, "Some Amritdharis say that they will not eat Langar with the rest of the Sangat. Isn't this wrong?"


I could have just stated Guru Jee's Hukam is and explain, but I could sense that this Bibi would ask 101 questions and would perhaps become argumentative asking for proofs etc.

Daas explained,
"Bhenji, all Gursikhs eat Langar. I think your question is aimed at me. Daas eats Langar also. However, Daas only eats Langar prepared by Guru Ke Sikh, as supposed to Langar prepared by anyone and everyone. It's not because Gursikhs think they are higher than others. I might not be able to make you understand why Daas keeps this Rehat but I can try. When one loves the Guru so much, they want to make their whole life revolve around Guru Jee. When they wake up they remember Guru jee and Japp Naam. In love the Gursikh recites Nitnem. When going to sleep Gursiksh recite Paath and remember Guru Jee. A Gursikh's life is dedicated to Guru jee and each act in a Gursikh's life should inspire love for Naam and Guru jee. For this reason, I desire to eat food from such a person who loves Guru jee so much that they have taken Amrit. We recite everyday "se-ee pyaare mel jinnaa miliaa teraa naam chit aavai" - I wish to eat food from someone who loves Amrit-velaa and loves their Nitnem, so when I eat that food I feel inspired and feel that love. Keeping this Rehat is nothing but an act of love. You love Guru jee so much you only want to eat from the beloved Gursikhs who also share love for Guru Jee and you love Guru jee so much that you want to Sangat with the beloveds of Guru jee."

Hearing this, Bhenji who was at the start frustrated and slightly annoyed with Daas not eating "Khulla Langar" and having an Amritdhari Bibi prepare the Parshaada for Daas, now looked very emotional. Putting her hands together and lowering her head she said, "Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Jee!"

My head also lowered thinking "Dhan Hai Guru, Dhan Hai Teree Sikhee."

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

Quote
Sukhdeep Singh
Most people in my family are not AmritDhari. They too often question bibek. I simply tell them that this diet is based on people who want to live a life of Naam contemplation. I mention to them that early in the morning its our habit to rise and meditate on Naam, then make an honest living and meditate on Naam. When I explain to them the concept of Naam, I then tell them that to keep this Naam in place the food one eats must be prepared when reciting Naam by a person who follows the Sikh code of conduct.

I think this is a very good explanation as it covers the basics of Naam and Rehat in one go, two concepts which are sometimes quite difficult to express.

This explanation also makes it clear that food should be prepared not only by an Amritdhari, but by an Amritdhari who is making an effort to jap Naam whilst preparing food. I think it would be best to emphasise this point, otherwise people begin to assume that Bibekis regard Amritdhari Sikhs as being better than non-Amritdharis unfairly. On a side note, in my limited experience it is quite a rare phenomenon to come across even an Amritdhari Sikh who recites Naam whilst preparing roti. Guru Ji kirpa karo.

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh