Waheguru ji,
I won't get into detail but will say my father has done a very good job at showing us what horror is since childhood and I am in my mid 20s now. Sooner or later I will get married( if I can find any non drinker) but my fear is my brother and mother. Maybe or maybe not I will end up going into a peaceful house but I don't know how would I live knowing how much Kalesh my dad creates while drinking. I am not concerned with myself, it's just my mom and brother. He worked for 12 hours and it's almost 2 am and he just had a huge argument and he has to go to work again at 6 am. He usually stays quiet but dad keep provoking him and then he speak and their fight literally makes me faint. The pain is gone now, since I have seen all of this for 25 years, it's just fear now someone getting hurt. And usually I am scared about dad getting hurt since when he goes towards mom, my bro can't handle it. The truth is my dad has hurt three of us soo much, kept us up so many nights, have seen my mom and bro being abused, have spent my entire life in fear where back in India I used to get so depressed whenever night would approach cuz he would come home create Kalesh abuse mom and fight with neibours.
When does not drink, he does so much for us like he can do anything for my bro but when he's drunk I don't know what goes inside him. He looks at us like we are his worst enemies. He seems possessed, I see so much hate in his eyes. He blames us you guys want to kill me.
I and mom can still handle it but my brother is tired and to be honest, he tolerated way more than a guy should. He can easily buy a new place and can live there happily away from dad but then it will create more Kalesh and he won't leave us with dad.
I see no future for my dad, he spent his entire life drinking and being selfish. I beg beg for him to do paath or at least correct his ways now if not for us at least for him but no he does lot care and I don't know what happens after life but I am scared about that too.
He always admit that he has been blessed with great kids that since he has been a selfish person but still he never thinks about quitting the alcohol or getting help. Me and bro despite all the torture always gave respect and he only started talking back when he had enough of dad abusing everybody.
I can't find his solution, leaving him or sending him to India will give us somewhat peace but he will do nothin but drink over there. So I don't wanna get rid of him I wanna help him but don't know how?
And blessed are those families where alcohol is not an issue and if any of you are a father and does not drink I have mad respect for you.
Sorry if I said too much, had to get it out of my system. I wish guru nanak dev ji was here In physical form, his one gaze was able to reform sajjan thug we are so unblessed in this kalyug. Sorry for any mistake typing on phone
Thank you
ਸਤਿਗੁਰਬਚਨਕਮਾਵਣੇਸਚਾਏਹੁਵੀਚਾਰੁ॥