ashes - what should one do?

There is a lot of confusion about what to do with the ashes. Our elders used to bring them home, do prayer, take them around the house with the ashes urn in a white cloth - hanging from the shoulder and swipeing the floor and saying the words lets go - then the ashes were thrown in the river.

So can someone please explain what is the right way:-

Should the ashes of our nearest and dearest be brought home before we place them in the river, and when and if we bring it home do we walk around each room with the ashes and say the wording lets go.

Or do you not bring the ashes home.

I don't think ashes should be not brought home. Family members that pass away do deserve to be brought back home after their death. When someone in my family passed away we did bring their dead body home. Remember this, even if they've passed away, it's not like they can't see what we are doing to them or they can't hear, because they can.

Ashes should be brought back home and then taken away to be put in a flowing river respectfully. As long as their isn't going to be excessive mourning, but if their is going to be that then keep the ashes at the funeral home. Souls don't die, the body does.

There is no Maryada of bringing ashes home but if they have to be brought home, before submersing them in a flowing river, there is no need to be superstitious either. Such activities don't affect the departed Jeev who has bigger things to worry about e.g. held accountable by Dharam Rai for one's deeds.

Kulbir Singh

Ok. So there is no maryada of bringing ashes home, but won't the soul still be attached to the home.

No there is not particular Maryada of bringing ashes home (it's not prohibited either) and most souls are not allowed to stay around the body because it is taken to the court of Dharam Rai for accountability of it's deeds in this world. Some souls who get the jooni of a ghost may stay around, but rest of them have to leave immediately after death.

Kulbir Singh

Fair enough. But as we do not know what Jooni one gets - do we do all the rituals our elders did.

The reason I am so interested to know this is I read Unditthi Duniya and it said in there that the soul was attached to the house and there was no happiness in the house.

Quote

The reason I am so interested to know this is I read Unditthi Duniya and it said in there that the soul was attached to the house and there was no happiness in the house.

Please quote exact quote from the book so that we may do Vichaar on it.

The soul that is too attached to the house ends up becoming a ghost that lives in this house as per this Gurbani Pankiti:

ਅੰਤਿ ਕਾਲਿ ਜੋ ਮੰਦਰ ਸਿਮਰੈ ਐਸੀ ਚਿੰਤਾ ਮਹਿ ਜੇ ਮਰੈ ॥ ਪ੍ਰੇਤ ਜੋਨਿ ਵਲਿ ਵਲਿ ਅਉਤਰੈ ॥੪
(One who remembers one's home during the last moment, comes in ghost life form again and again)

Bringing ashes home would not help the soul leave the home in any way. But again, as mentioned before, there is nothing wrong too in bringing the ashes home in order to rest and take the ashes to a river at a later date. But all these superstitions attached to it have no place in Gurmat.

Kulbir Singh

Please click on the link below and go to page 224 (Redemption of demon).





[www.globalgurmat.com]

This Saakhi just confirms what Gurbani says i.e. that the Jeev is bonded as a ghost to the house he loves, after death. This does not support the practice of bringing ashes home for the purpose of releasing the Jeev from the love of the home. Sikh Rehit Maryada does not speak of such practices.

Kulbir Singh

Fair enough. But what can one do just to make sure that no Jeev is attached to house etc.

It would be lovely to know that your nearest and dearest are resting in peace.

That's true, just focus on praying for them. That's what matters.

You'll know if they are resting in peace or no because things happen over time or and they make their presence known, trust me, you'll know over time.

Gurbani tells us that this "deh" is mitti after "Atma" is gone out of it. Hence, what ever you do with deh is useless. After saskar, if somebody brings the assthiyaa at home for any kind of feeling is totaly a foolishness and this act contradict with Gurbani's teachings to us to worry about "atma" than "deh". Is atma still within assthihyaa???????????

Don't think it's foolishness. It can be done just out respect. If the deh can be brought home then why not ashes? Although I have heard from someone that ashes should not be brought home but I don't understand the reasoning behind it. Maybe there is valid reasoning behind it, in that case it would be kind of anyone who knows it to explain to the rest of us so that we have a better idea of this matter.

Go to keeratpur. Ashes go to keeratpur nadi. Simple as that. Kiratpur nadi needs to be given clean water because the last we went it was not in good condition. Until u can't go there keep the ashes. Dude why be afraid of ashes of someone you loved dearly when they were alive yet you are are afraid of their spirit.

I know someone that keeps a part of their loved ones ashes in a necklace, I could do the same. As a matter of fact sometimes I feel like someone is touching my back, stroking it. I felt once like someone was pressing my legs. I also felt like someone was telling me to go to sleep at night when I was all alone with my German shepherd in the apartment. It was all dark yet I was being taken care of.