Mixing Sikhism with Punjabi Culture

I read the following article off another website.

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Sat Sri Akaal everyone,

I'm a young Punjabi-Sikh girl from Australia and I would like to ask your opinions on these topics raised.

First of all, I hold my religion very close to my heart... however I am very critical of Punjabi culture, and I do notice the bad things like:

1. double-standard in men and women, heavy patriarchy/sexism - boys can go out, girls can't and if they do, they are deemed to be 'bad'.

2. racism towards other cultures - seeing white/black people as being different to us and saying they have bad morals

3. upholding of caste system - you often hear 'jatts' refer to other castes as 'choodas' and even when they say they don't believe in caste.. they continue to do so

4. extreme pride in having a 'good' family - it's so important for many parents to marry their kids into a good family and often don't let their children be happy and have the freedom they want because other people will think it's 'bad' - e.g. going out


...and many more beliefs which contradict Sikhism.

This is all generally speaking on my experience but I'm sure many of you can relate.

I would like to know, what is your opinion on the fact that Punjabi culture is being held higher than Sikhism by many Punjabis? How could we change this? Do you disagree with me? I would just like your opinions because I feel so lost and so insecure in my culture.

I see a lot of young Sikh men who go out and get drunk, get Sikhi tattoos, call themselves "jatts" and get angry when they see young Sikh girls going out and I think it's disgusting that parents are telling their kids this is right.. personally I have taught my little brother that this is completely wrong. He was putting "jatt" on his Facebook before and I got upset at him for doing that... but lots of parents aren't teaching their kids about Sikhi, they are just instilling their racist and sexist beliefs in their kids.

Older people are saying Punjabi culture is becoming 'Westernized' but I just believe it is evolving. What do you think? Do you think Punjabi culture is changing for the good or the bad?
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(For the full article, visit this link on Sikh Philosophy)

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To a certain extent, I agree with her points. One in particular is the caste system. When I got Amrit, I was told that my "caste" is Khalsa, and all other Ablakhis were told the same. Then why is it that people, even those that take Amrit, continue to believe in the caste system?
Every time I've questioned my family, I always get an answer that confuses me even more.

"The good Sikhs follow the caste system and only marry their children within the same caste. Yet, they don't show it"

What's that supposed to mean? To me, that doesn't make much sense, especially coming from a family who is Amritdhari. Even after being told that all those who take Amrit have no caste associated with them, these people still continue to follow it. I find this is more common with those who were originally "Jatts". They can't seem to forget their past upbringing into which ever caste they belong into.

Secondly, as discussed many times before, there continues to be a double standard between females and male. I'm not talking about the work they have to do (dishes, etc.), more so what they can and cannot do. As stated in the article, parents either tend to have more trust in boys, or they think nothing's going to happen to them. Girls don't seem to get the same freedom. I've noticed it in my family, and other families as well. Although when kids question their parents, they are told that all their kids are equal and treated equally. That's not the case though. I have a brother, and he seems to be allowed to go over to his friends house and stay out late. Whereas for me, I can't even go over to someone's house, unless if it's school related. Many families seem to have this problem, and I hear about it all the time.

Thirdly, why is it that after you become Amritdhari, you're suddenly more racist and discriminate against others (white/black people)?
I understand that you should keep sangat with those that are like you, or are good models for you. This however does not mean that we need to discriminate against other people, and say that only friends that are Sikhs can be friends. I've got many friends from different backgrounds -- White, Black, Brown, Yellow -- and they're all the same, personality wise. What else is their to look in a friend? We can't only have friends that are of the same faith and background, as we live in a multicultural society. Also, their are many qualities that we cannot always find in someone of the same faith as us. All those other people out their aren't necessarily "bad company" for us. They can be, but we'd be the ones allowing that. As long as we know our limits, and don't let others negatively influence us, it shouldn't be a problem.


This is my opinion on the article, and my own thought about mixing Sikhism with the Punjabi Culture. Please do share your opinions and thoughts.

Good Points brought up by the young girl, and elaborated well by Kaurs4 bhen.

The double standards rules definitely exist. As the only child of my parents, I do get daughterly treatment at times.

But being a singh, I see a much more detailed existence of the caste system bhenjee speaks of.

It's ever existing everywhere, even among amritdhaarees, we forget our original panj pyare, and we forget guroo sahib's karamaat and how each were from different jaats etc.

Sarabloh Bibek is commonly referred to as Bahmanwaad by people who are misguided, but are they at fault?

Amritdhaarees have come down to discriminating with caste. They brought this upon themselves.

The big difference ? One is born a brahman or shudar, but one is more than welcome into the Khalsa brotherhood/sisterhood during this lifetime, whereas these worldly castes cannot be overturned.

Regardless of birth!

Daas noo te iko pangtee yaad aundee aa

Humree Jaat Paat Gurr Satgurr
Hum Vecheyo Sirr Gurr Kai

Vaheguroo

Quote

I understand that you should keep sangat with those that are like you, or are good models for you. This however does not mean that we need to discriminate against other people, and say that only friends that are Sikhs can be friends. I've got many friends from different backgrounds -- White, Black, Brown, Yellow -- and they're all the same, personality wise. What else is their to look in a friend? We can't only have friends that are of the same faith and background, as we live in a multicultural society. Also, their are many qualities that we cannot always find in someone of the same faith as us. All those other people out their aren't necessarily "bad company" for us. They can be, but we'd be the ones allowing that. As long as we know our limits, and don't let others negatively influence us, it shouldn't be a problem.

Kaurs4 jeeo, the above passage reflects serious lack of understanding of Gurmat. The meaning of Bibek is such intelligence that enables us to discern between right and wrong. Bibek in the nutshell means Gurmat Vichaar. Gurmat Vichaar is reflected in Gurbani and other Gurmat literature.

Gurmat Bibek is not just about what to eat but also encompasses Gurmat Rehit-Rehni (way of life). Gurmat Bibeki is such person who wholly and solely lives for Vaheguru; therefore everything he does is according to Guru Sahib's teachings.

The main aim of a Gurmat Bibeki is to have Darshan of Vaheguru and for this reason Guru Sahib has instructed us to associate with devotees only and to minimize alliances with non-devotees. Devotees i.e. Bhagats inspire us and enable us to remember Vaheguru. Non-devotees who themselves are Mayadharis inspire us to become Mayadhaaris i.e. materialistic persons. This is why there are several Hukams in Gurbani that give us Hukam to not have friendship with Manmukhs (non-devotees):

ਮਨਮੁਖ ਸੇਤੀ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਥੋੜੜਿਆ ਦਿਨ ਚਾਰਿ ॥
ਇਸੁ ਪਰੀਤੀ ਤੁਟਦੀ ਵਿਲਮੁ ਨ ਹੋਵਈ ਇਤੁ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਚਲਨਿ ਵਿਕਾਰ ॥
ਜਿਨਾ ਅੰਦਰਿ ਸਚੇ ਕਾ ਭਉ ਨਾਹੀ ਨਾਮਿ ਨ ਕਰਹਿ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥
ਨਾਨਕ ਤਿਨ ਸਿਉ ਕਿਆ ਕੀਚੈ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਜਿ ਆਪਿ ਭੁਲਾਏ ਕਰਤਾਰਿ ॥1॥
(Friendship with Manmukhs is for four days only (shortlived). It does not take time in breaking of such friendship and this friendship results in evil tendencies (Vikaar). Ones who don't have fear of the True One (Vaheguru) and ones who don't have love for Naam; why have friendship with such people who have been led astray by Kartaar).

The above Gurbani Pankitis are very deep and lesson-giving. First Guru Sahib instructs us to not have associations with such people who don't have fear of Vaheguru and who don't have love for Naam because such association results in flow of sinful thoughts (Vikaars) in us but in the end Guru Sahib also informs us that Manmukhs are led astray by Kartaar Himself. The last Hukam is given to us so that we don't develop ego on our part and hatred for Manmukhs. Since they are led astray by Vaheguru, then this too must be true that if we are walking on the Path of Gursikhi, it is so because of grace of Vaheguru. So we should not become proud of being Gursikhs and should not have hatred for Manmukhs. We should avoid friendship with Manmukhs not because not out of hatred or pride but because it is the Hukam of Kartaar to do so.

Many a times, it has been noticed that when someone looks down on someone or mocks someone for committing a mistake, one finds oneself in a similar position, having committed a similar offense. So the stupidist thing to do is to mock someone or make fun of someone or look down on someone who has committed a mistake. All is happening as per the Divine Hukam of Vaheguru jee.

Having said that, don't interpret this to mean that we should have hatred for non-devotees or whether we should not even talk to them. What this means is that friendship, and Roti-Beti kee Sanjh should not be done with them but normal business dealings e.g. buying from their stores or selling goods to them or otherwise having school dealings with co-students for the purpose of school is just fine. It's friendship and close association that is prohibited.

As per a Mahavaak from Gurbani if one stays in the Sangat of Gursikhs, only then one falls in love with Vaheguru

ਸੰਤਾ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਮਿਲਿ ਰਹੈ ਤਾ ਸਚਿ ਲਗੈ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥

Presented below is a very pertinent Kabit from Bhai Gurdaas jee's Baani, that talks about different kinds of Sangat:

ਕਾਹੂ ਦਸਾਕੇ ਪਵਨ ਗਵਨ ਕੈ ਬਰਖਾ ਹੈ, ਕਾਹੂ ਦਸਾਕੇ ਪਵਨ ਬਾਦਰ ਬਿਲਾਤ ਹੈ ॥
ਕਾਹੂ ਜਲ ਪਾਨ ਕੀਏ ਰਹਤ ਅਰੋਗ ਦੋਹੀ, ਕਾਹੂ ਜਲ ਪਾਨ ਬਿਆਪੇ ਬ੍ਰਿਥਾ ਬਿਲਲਾਤ ਹੈ ॥
ਕਾਹੂ ਗ੍ਰਿਹ ਕੀ ਅਗਨਿ ਪਾਕ ਸਾਕ ਸਿਧਿ ਕਰੈ, ਕਾਹੂ ਗ੍ਰਿਹ ਕੀ ਅਗਨਿ ਭਵਨੁ ਜਗਤ ਹੈ ॥
ਕਾਹੂ ਕੀ ਸੰਗਤ ਮਿਲਿ ਜੀਵਨ ਮੁਕਤਿ ਹੁਇ, ਕਾਹੂ ਕੀ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਮਿਲਿ ਜਮੁਪੁਰਿ ਜਾਤ ਹੈ ॥549॥

1. Air of some direction is such that results in rainfall and air of some direction is such that disburses the clouds.

2. Some kind of water results in making the body healthy but drinking some kind of water results in the person crying in pain.

3. Fire in some houses helps in cooking food and fire in some houses burns the whole house down.

4. Company of some (people) results in making one Jeevan Mukat and company (Sangat) of some (people) takes one to Jampur (hell).

The last Pankiti shows that bad Sangat takes one to hell and good Sangat results in Jeevan-Mukti spiritual state. Under the influence of the modern civilization, many Gursikhs ignore this very important Hukam of Guru Sahib and make friendships with non-devotees without any qualms. Then they are found asking questions like why can't I get up at Amritvela or why can't I concentrate on Naam etc. How would one get up at Amritvela when one goes to Manmukhi gatherings that end late night? Even late gatherings of Gursikhs result in sometimes missing Amritvela, then how on Earth would attending late Manmukhi gatherings enable one to get up at Amritvela too?

May Guru Sahib always bless us with such Sangat that prompts us to engage in Naam Abhyaas alone.

Bhul Chuk dee Maafi jee.

Kulbir Singh

Socializing with only SIkhs doenst necessarily guarantee
spiritual success. Just because a person is dressed
like a Gursikh or looks like a Gursikh it doesnt mean
they are into GUrmat-Spirituality. Most SIkhs I come across
rarely ever discuss spiritual matters with me. Most of them seem
interested in discussing worldly matters work, school, family, marriage etc.
On the other hand I have come across people who our outside of SIkh faith
and seem very much into Spirituality, and well only discuss spirituality when talking.
When I talk to them about Sarab Loh Bibek, AMrit Vela, Naam, they get fascinated, but on
the other hand when I tell some " Sikhs" not to wear earrings, not to sleep late, not to eat
bad food they get mad and their face turns red.

We should socialize with those that uplift our SIkhi, and we should strive to help
others find SIkhi even if it means we take some loss.
BHai Gurdas Ji mentions we should be like a sugar cane willing to crushed
and grinded for the benefit of others.
[www.sikhitothemax.com]

THe same way Sri GUru Tegh Bahadur and other Shaheed SInghs gave their sugar
to others. One cannot go far in thier SIkhi unless they have praupakaree ( altruistic )
qualities, this means helping those that have gone astray and need help. IF we only hang with AmritDharis then how in the world will people born outside of SIkh faith ever find God?

Keep in mind we have to build some spiritual kamaee before we help others, and thus if we are
one of those people who are influenced by non-Sikhs then its best to avoid such company
until we build a jeevan in which we can live amongst non- Gursikhs not get effected, and
bring such strayed people to the house of GUru Nanak Sahib.
Kul Dharam GurSikh Sabh Maya vich Udaas Rahayaa
Duty of Gursikh who takes birth in House of Nanak is to remain
detached/uneffected in the presence of Maya.

For this to happen its critical that one keeps strong rehat.

Personally, I get inspired being around Monay or Kesdhari people who take interest
in Gurmat. There is a spark in them which has seemed to faded amongst many AMritDharis
( including myself) who have turned SIkhi into a mere culture instead of a way of life.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ke Fateh

Completelg agree with Bhai Sukhdeep Singh jee, and so beautfil is Bhai Gurdas Jee's examples ,

how many Gursikh question each other on their mind? how is it today ? how was it during the day?

how many Gursikhs question each other what was your goal towards Sikhe this vasakai and the last vasakai??

kaurs4 Wrote:
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> Thirdly, why is it that after you become
> Amritdhari, you're suddenly more racist and
> discriminate against others (white/black
> people)?
> I understand that you should keep sangat with
> those that are like you, or are good models for
> you. This however does not mean that we need to
> discriminate against other people, and say that
> only friends that are Sikhs can be friends. I've
> got many friends from different backgrounds --
> White, Black, Brown, Yellow -- and they're all the
> same, personality wise. What else is their to look
> in a friend? We can't only have friends that are
> of the same faith and background, as we live in a
> multicultural society. Also, their are many
> qualities that we cannot always find in someone of
> the same faith as us. All those other people out
> their aren't necessarily "bad company" for us.
> They can be, but we'd be the ones allowing that.
> As long as we know our limits, and don't let
> others negatively influence us, it shouldn't be a
> problem.

The problem bhenjee is that, no matter how much a gurmukh tries bad sangat will start to rub off on the person in question. I'm not saying don't talk to whites, blacks; that is unrealistic as in today's society we have to talk to them at work, school etc. But only talk to them within a limit, there is no need to get too friendly with them. I myself have experience with bad sangat. It started with me just hanging out with them but then i started to pick up their habits and life style. Some of the smarter gursikhs choose to remove the danger of losing their sikhi to bad sangat.

Guru Ka Daas
Binodh Singh