Accepting Bhaanaa

There is one video I watched once on youtube, that I'll always remember. I've tried looking but haven't been able to find it again, so I am posting the story here as I remember it. I think I got the details pretty accurate.

[Explicit content]

The story is told by a Sikh woman who travelled to India with a group of doctors after the events of 1984. She was the interpreter for the English-speaking doctors, who were visiting a village to provide the locals with check-ups and treatments. The village they arrived at was filled with children, and there happened to be one bibi who lived among them, who spent her days running around, serving the children. What was unique about this bibi, was that she only had one leg.

The interpreter who tells this story on the video, was with a female doctor(?), and they called the bibi over for her turn. The bibi was very impatient, as she had lots to do and did not see the need for a check-up, but she obliged. So the doctor began to look her over.

What she found shook her to her core. The bibi's body was so damaged, that the doctor could not imagine what horrors had been inflicted on her to make it that way. She began to cry, and could not carry through with the check-up. The bibi, meanwhile, watched her impatiently, and asked the interpreter what the doctor was sobbing about. The interpreter explained, and then asked what had happened to her.

The bibi seemed indifferent to their shock, but the interpreter did manage to get her story out of her, which went like this:

The bibi used to live with a family, a husband and children. However, during the pogroms of 1984, her entire family was murdered. She herself barely survived, after being raped in front of her own family. She was taken to an Indian jail, where she was beaten, tortured, and raped endlessly. I don't remember if she was there for several months or several years, but whatever period of time, it was certainly long enough to be unbearable to any normal person.

Upon hearing her story, the doctor sobbed more, and asked if she did not hold any bitterness, any resentment. The interpreter relayed the message, to which the bibi responded,

"Why would I hold any resentment? Guru Sahib gave me a beautiful family, whom I loved, and then he took it away. What is there to be angry about?"


Both the doctor and the interpreter were shocked by this Singhni's response.


But really, what is there to be shocked about? What she said was a simple and beautiful truth:

Kabeer, mera mujh mein kichh nahee, jo kich hai so tera
Tera thujh ko saunptey, kya laagey mera?

Kabeer, nothing is mine;whatever is, is yours
If you take something from me, what does it cost me?


The bibi had so much faith in her Guru that nothing, not even the most horrific of events, had been able to shake it. May Guru Sahib bless us with this same strength.

Vaheguru

Vaheguru! Dhan Gursikhi!

how in the world could she say she was okay with being raped??

that is absurd. no woman should accept rape 'sweetly'. How can God be pleased with people who rape, when Guru Himself has told man to respect woman and not even speak ill of her.

It must be some heavy past karma. who knows.

I don't think she ever said that she accepted that rape was okay. I think she accepted that what happened to her was in Guru Sahib's bhaanaa, and that if she was meant to survive that, then she would continue to live in khushee of Guru Sahib's Will. Yes, it had to have been some heavy past karams that caused this to happen to her, but many of us have difficulties in our lives and we become very depressed (myself included) - this bibi, however, is the definition of chardeekala. That's the message I wanted to get out there - that Gursikhs should always be in chardeekala, because we know in our hearts that Vaheguru's Will is forever sweet.

Maybe very heavy past karma or maybe actually the real victim indeed. God knows, nobody else knows the pain of another. We can just sit here and pass our comments, Waheguru

The world is poison.

well ofcourse she is the victim here. sorry i shouldn't have said maybe. God bless her.

According to gurbani, everything that happens to us is a result of our own karams. Vaheguru wouldn't make us suffer for no reason.



ਜੋਮੈਕੀਆਸੋਮੈਪਾਇਆਦੋਸੁਨਦੀਜੈਅਵਰਜਨਾ॥੨੧॥
Whatever I did, for that I have suffered; I do not blame anyone else. ||21||



When bad things happen to us, it is Vaheguru's way of washing away those bad karams. It is nothing to be sad about, as this inspiring bibi showed.

Living in His Will
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

One of the easiest things to say is that we should live in His will but it is one of the hardest things to do. And it is not until we actually live in His will during a difficult period in life, do we realize what it truly means to live in His will. In my life and the life of dear ones, I have seen when living in His will was good, bad and nearly impossible.
I was nineteen years old when over the period of a few months; I found myself unable to walk for more than a few feet without unbearable pain, riddled with random pain in different parts of my body and unable to stay awake more than a few hours. For six months my family thought I was faking it because the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I was miserable and couldn’t figure out why God was doing this to me; what good did God get from my misery? Than six months after all this had begun, the doctors discovered I had imbalance that caused my kidneys to leak. The supplements made the random muscle pain and constant need for sleep go away but I still couldn’t walk. It took them another month to discover that I had a slip disc, which was actually the root of my misery. None of the painkillers were working and the doctors recommended surgery. An impulse trip to India and bath at Harmandir Sahib, my back was cured. Till this day I thank god that I got slip disc and my kidney condition got caught. It was hard to live in His will but when I look back, it was worth it.
A person is not always able to look back and be thankful for what seems like a horrible event in their lives that changed their life for the better. Life was finally looking up for my father, he was working hard as a truck driver to support his family back home and then suddenly one day his partner caused the truck to crash. My father was sleeping in the back when the crash happened and was horribly injured; the partner jumped out and didn’t even get a scratch on him. It was during the ride to the hospital the paramedics discovered my father had diabetes that was completely out of control. Left untreated, it could have caused my father to have severe kidney damage, to go blind and loads of other problems. But this crash got him the help he needed, which he otherwise would have never gotten because he just couldn’t afford it. Not only did this accident helped catch his diabetes but the insurance money helped him start his own business. He is 100 times better off today, than he was before that faithful crash. His back often troubles him and at times the pain gets unbearable but today he can afford to say no to work. The memories of the horrible crash still hurt him, maybe one day this will of God, won’t seem so bad.
But how does one live in His will when no light can be seen at the end of the tunnel of pain. In recent months a family friend had a stroke due to high blood pressure, the stroke has left him unable to talk, recognize his family and without hope of ever returning to normal. The only breadwinner for his family does not even know that since he has been in the hospital, another daughter has been born to him. All day his family cries and prays that a miracle will happen and he will once again recognize them, it has been months but he has not. Sometimes we wonder if he is never going to get better, wouldn’t it have been easier if God had called him to Himself? But then again, if God had done that would his wife stayed back and learned to fend for herself and her family? Would she have kept her daughter, which everyone is so eager to adopt? Maybe or maybe not. But as of now, she is here fighting, praying and learning on how to survive on her own without depending on others, so she can keep things normal for when her husband does wake up. Yes, those of us around her try to help her out as much as we can but it is not the same as having your husband with you that used to do everything for you. Sometimes to the non-believer the will of God is worse than bad, it’s ugly.
No matter how God’s will looks at first glance, for those that believe there is always more to it than that meets the eye. Whether God’s will is good, bad or ugly, there is always some good hidden in it, we just need to believe. Sometimes is pain for small period of time, to help us avoid long time problems. Sometimes its pain in smaller doses to help us bear it in the long run. And occasionally He gives us a big pain to make us so strong that we can not only bear our pain but help others also. He is our father, why would he want to see us in pain? If you can’t see the good in His will, it is because you have yet to turn on the lights. Go to Guru Granth Sahib Ji and ask for help in turning on the minds light because it is only a Guru that can expel the darkness and bring you into the light.

Vaaheguru Vaaheguru!

Very soul-stirring write up I must say HarminderKaur jee. I am glad I read it.

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A person is not always able to look back and be thankful for what seems like a horrible event in their lives that changed their life for the better

That was so beautiful. It is indeed absolutely true and we all realize this every now and then, don't we?

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Whether God’s will is good, bad or ugly, there is always some good hidden in it, we just need to believe

I do understand what you're saying, but as Sikhs we need to look upon every Hukam/Bhaanaa as miththaa and only miththaa. Because as you say, miththaa would obviously have good hidden in it

Many thanks for sharing

Mehtab Singh

Aaah... bhenjee, thank you so much for sharing. Vahegurooo...

Leafy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> how in the world could she say she was okay with
> being raped??
>
> that is absurd. no woman should accept rape
> 'sweetly'. How can God be pleased with people who
> rape, when Guru Himself has told man to respect
> woman and not even speak ill of her.
>
> It must be some heavy past karma. who knows.


I think when some took 5 Kakaar's from any Gursikh by forcing him,is worse time, than a women being raped.As we have example from Bhai sahib bhai Randhir Singh ji's time during jail, their 5 kakaar's were taken by forcing,at that point bhai was attaining more chardikala.Bhai sahib jee was just Accepting Bhaanaa of akalpurakh Vaheguroo,otherwise no one was able to even touch bhai sahib without his wish.

Leafy jee how could Vaheguroo can please and see kakaar's taken off from any gursikh by forcing him,its all in bhaanaa of Vaheguroo jee

If a women is getting help from his brother's(all we) or other family member in that kind of situation being raped, that's all in Bhaanaa also.No one of us is able to help her,all power work behind is Vaheguroo jee.Her true Lord(True husband) Vaheguroo is only to think about her,Vaheguroo may provide help to her,and get punished those persons did bad with her,or Vaheguroo just leave her on his Bhaanaa.


Accepting Bhaanna is just amazing,its challenge for lovers of Vaheguroo and it tells how much love we have with Vaheguroo.
i think it's best way to make Vaheguroo happy and jumping towards our goal of union,daras-milaap with Vaheguroo jee.

bhul lchukk di muaafi jee

Nice topic bhain jee has started...........

Waheguru!!..very inspiring story!!..

--
preetkhalsa

ਜਤਨ ਬਹੁਤ ਸੁਖ ਕੇ ਕੀਏ ਦੁਖ ਕੋ ਕੀਓ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥
ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਸੁਨਿ ਰੇ ਮਨਾ ਹਰਿ ਭਾਵੈ ਸੋ ਹੋਇ ॥੩੯॥
People make all sorts of efforts to find peace and pleasure, but no one tries to earn pain.
Says Nanak, listen, mind: whatever pleases God comes to pass. ||39||

waheguruu..

ਮਨ ਸੁਧ ਰਖੈ, ਹਰਖ ਸੋਗ ਹਰੈ
Bhai Daya Singh Ji

ATTENTION ADMIN SAHIB

Please could you write this saakhi up for the sangat? I think it would be great addition to this thread, and it shows even the topmost Gurmukhs like Bhai Sahib Gurdaas Jee can get put in difficult situation:

[www.sikhlionz.com]

I would not mind to have a go, but the translations on the STTM do not seem accurate.

Bhai Sahib Gurdaas Jee (Vaar 35, Pauree 20):

ਜੇ ਮਾਂ ਹੋਵੈ ਜਾਰਨੀ ਕਿਉ ਪੁਤੁ ਪਤਾਰੇ||
jae maa hovai jaaranee kio puth pathaarae|
If the mother is adulteress why should son speak ill of her.

ਗਾਈ ਮਾਣਕੁ ਨਿਗਲਿਆ ਪੇਟੁ ਪਾੜਿ ਨ ਮਾਰੇ||
gaaee maanak nigaliaa paett paarr n maarae|
If a gem is swallowed by a cow, nobody rips its stomach to get it out.

ਜੇ ਪਿਰੁ ਬਹੁ ਘਰੁ ਹੰਢਣਾ ਸਤੁ ਰਖੈ ਨਾਰੇ||
jae pir bahu ghar hantanaa sath rakhai naarae|
If the husband enjoys (immorally) at many houses, the wife should preserve her chastity.

ਅਮਰੁ ਚਲਾਵੈ ਚੰਮ ਦੇ ਚਾਕਰ ਵੇਚਾਰੇ||
amar chalaavai chanm dhae chaakar vaechaarae|
If the King exercises dictatorial powers, the servants are helpless before him.

ਜੇ ਮਦੁ ਪੀਤਾ ਬਾਮਣੀ ਲੋਇ ਲੁਝਣਿ ਸਾਰੇ||
jae madh peethaa baamanee loe lujhan saarae|
If a Brahmin woman is drunk, all feel ashamed and do not look up in her face.

ਜੇ ਗੁਰ ਸਾਂਗਿ ਵਰਤਦਾ ਸਿਖੁ ਸਿਦਕੁ ਨ ਹਾਰੇ ||੨੦||
jae gur saag varathadhaa sikh sidhak n haarae |20|
If the Guru performs a sham, the Sikh should not give up his forbearance.(20)

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ਜੇ ਮਾਉ ਪੁਤੈ ਵਿਸੁ ਦੇ ਤਿਸ ਤੇ ਕਿਸੁ ਪਿਆਰਾ||
jae maao puthai vis dhae this thae kis piaaraa|
If a mother administers poison to son then to whom else that son could be more dear.

ਜੇ ਘਰੁ ਭੰਨੈ ਪਾਹਰੂ ਕਉਣੁ ਰਖਣਹਾਰਾ||
jae ghar bhannai paaharoo koun rakhanehaaraa|
If the watchman breaks open the house, then, who else could be a protector.

ਬੇੜਾ ਡੋਬੈ ਪਾਤਣੀ ਕਿਉ ਪਾਰਿ ਉਤਾਰਾ||
baerraa ddobai paathanee kio paar outhaaraa|
If the boatman makes the boat sink, how one could get across.

ਆਗੂ ਲੈ ਉਝਵਿ ਪਵੇ ਕਿਸੁ ਕਰੈ ਪੁਕਾਰਾ||
aagoo lai oujhav pavae kis karai pukaaraa|
If the leader himself makes the people go astray, who else could be called for help.

ਜੇ ਕਰਿ ਖੇਤੈ ਖਾਇ ਵਾੜਿ ਕੋ ਲਹੈ ਨ ਸਾਰਾ||
jae kar khaethai khaae vaarr ko lehai n saaraa|
And if the protecting fence starts eating the crops who else will take care of the fields.

ਜੇ ਗੁਰ ਭਰਮਾਏ ਸਾਂਗੁ ਕਰਿ ਕਿਆ ਸਿਖੁ ਵਿਚਾਰਾ ||੨੨||
jae gur bharamaaeae saag kar kiaa sikh vichaaraa |22|
Similarly, if the Guru deludes a Sikh through a sham, what a poor Sikh could do.(22)

(Bhai Sahib Gurdaas Jee: Vaar 35, Pauree 22)

Bahut dhanvaad, please let me know if I can help with the write up, but I do not have any historical sources from where this Saakhi came from.

Rape, even in marriage is considered abuse and is wrong.

I agree bhenjee, rape is wrong. Those who carried out the act will certainly be punished.

dass may become very unpopular due to this post...but for the sake of discussing karma and thoughts that came to me in bold. And this post is not directed at the Bibi jis story accepting bhana, instead Leafy jees post in bold.

When bad things happen to one . It can be due to 2 reasons:

1. It is due to what one has sowed in ones past life.
2. A new seed of karma is being planted by the evil doer.

In case 2, the person will definately get punishment. That is Dharam Raajs duty which is none of our concern. Everything

lets look at the rape issue...
In case 1, lets say a someone gets raped in this life. What will we say if the person who got raped in this life, actualy raped the rapist in their past life(God knows best which one out of the countless ones) and caused equal amount of misery what one is facing at the moment to the rapist in the past life?

Karma is a vicious cycle . whether we like this fact or not....

Chota veer

correction....typed to fast to notice the errors;

Quote
Piyasi Chatrik
but for the sake of discussing karma and thoughts that came to me in reading the post in bold

was refering to my own reflection after reading Leafy jees post.

Chota veer

There is no way to know everything about karma system. Only He who has created it knows it all.

Many Sikh women were dishonored in 1984 for being Sikhs. It was not based on an individual basis but community basis. So one cannot say that the entire community suffered because of its past karmas for there is no such thing as karma of an entire community. There has never been a single case in the history in which Sikh community raped or killed the Hindu community. So why did we suffer? Shabads of Babar Vaani provide a clear cut answer to this. When leaders make mistakes by neglecting their responsibilities, service towards their community and indulge in selfish needs, the entire community has to pay the consequences. Lodhis became selfish and neglectful and Mughals took the advantage which resulted in sufferings of the subjects of Lodhis. Sikhs suffered the same fate in 1947 and 1984.

At an individual level, my opinion is that bad/good karmas get written but not how they will occur and how much pain/happiness they will bring. It depends on the how we live our life. One gets the chance of taking revenge but the nature of it completely depends on him. He may just let it go if he leads a Gurmat way of life and end the cycle of karma but if he, under the influence of manmat, decides to cause suffering to the other person, new karma gets created and he must suffer in the future depending upon the amount of pain caused. This is how karma goes on and on. Sikhs not once in 18th century refused to help the Hindu captive women on the pretext that they were paying for their past karma. It was not due to their karma because Hindus had never taken Muslim women as captives but it was due to misuse of power by Muslims and lack of proper ethical and moral principles in their lifestyle.

Eye for an eye or rape for a rape is not the law of karma. Say a brahmgyani is tortured to death by a policeman. While brahmgyani goes to Sachkhand and never comes back to human life again, the policeman doesn’t get off the hook. He must pay his dues in some form to exhaust his bad karma. In case he adopts gurmat, through naam abhiyaas his karma may get reduced to nothingness. So karma is not static but dynamic and karma definitely does not decide our fate in this life. It has the impact of putting us in certain situations but from then on the reaction is up to us. We react based on the education we receive from childhood. Based on Gurmat, Sikhs sing praises of Waheguru bearing no enmity while others based on manmat react differently. This is why Guru Sahib instructed us to lead a good way of life, seeing God within everyone, not hating anyone and seeking welfare of everyone. Guru Arjan Dev Ji, Sahibzadas and many others did not suffer because of their past karmas nor did Sikhs go through holocausts due to their past karmas but it was misuse of power by the officials who obtained such high positions due to their past karma. They ended up creating bad karmas for themselves and their empires became weak and eventually extinct due to their misdeeds.

Panktis like ਜੋ ਮੈ ਕੀਆ ਸੋ ਮੈ ਪਾਇਆ ਦੋਸੁ ਨ ਦੀਜੈ ਅਵਰ ਜਨਾ॥੨੧॥ in my opinion are in context of soul’s separation from Waheguru. What Guru Sahib means is that all the sufferings are due to separation from Waheguru. Separation is due to one’s own karma. It is not the fault of God to separate us but our own karma. So we must live according to Guru’s Hukam to end such sufferings. Guru Sahib considered separation from Waheguru as real painful suffering not physical pains. So it is wrong to attribute such panktis to physical sufferings like rape, torture, diseases etc. Guru Sahib knows best. Guru Rakha

Bijla Singh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Panktis like ਜੋ ਮੈ ਕੀਆ ਸੋ ਮੈ
> ਪਾਇਆ ਦੋਸੁ ਨ ਦੀਜੈ
> ਅਵਰ ਜਨਾ॥੨੧॥ in my opinion are
> in context of soul’s separation from Waheguru.
> What Guru Sahib means is that all the sufferings
> are due to separation from Waheguru. Separation is
> due to one’s own karma. It is not the fault of
> God to separate us but our own karma. So we must
> live according to Guru’s Hukam to end such
> sufferings. Guru Sahib considered separation from
> Waheguru as real painful suffering not physical
> pains. So it is wrong to attribute such panktis to
> physical sufferings like rape, torture, diseases
> etc. Guru Sahib knows best. Guru Rakha


Good point. I did not consider this.

I guess Leafy has a point that it is wrong to attribute someone's suffering to their karmas, simply because we cannot know. Bhul chuk maaf. But I think this is irrelevent anyways. Sikhs, unlike Hindus, don't judge individuals based on their past karmas. Karmas are irrelevent, if we have naam. Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh spent 20 years in jail, and he said this was due to a very bad karma he had accumulated. BUT it did not affect his bhagti, his resillience, or his firm faith in Guru Sahib, which is the important thing. Likewise, this bibi jee was not swayed by what took place in her life; therefore, the importance of the connection of these happenings to her karmas is minimal.

ੴ ਹੁਕਮ ਸੱਤਿ
- Zafarnama

Vaaheguroo..
Bhenjee I think you are refering to this youtube video for the story

[www.youtube.com]