Reason for not doing Enmity...

Sadhsangat is requested to ponder upon these questions and provide answers for the benefit of all.

Question 1: What's the best reason for not doing enmity or harboring ill-feeling for anyone?

Question 2: What to do when someone else does enmity with you and harbors ill-feeling for you?


Kulbir Singh

Question 2: Grab their feet !

Question 1: What's the best reason for not doing enmity or harboring ill-feeling for anyone?
Attempt for Answer 1: Because we are supposed to consider ourselves the worst of all, and we read "dekh ke andiTh keeta" so we always overlook the avguns (bad qualities) of other people. When we focus on others weaknesses, sure enough those same things come into ourself.

Question 2: What to do when someone else does enmity with you and harbors ill-feeling for you?
Attemp for Answer 2: One could do Paath together, because "saadh sang dushman sabh meet", or just show them by living pure Gurmukhi lifestyle that there is nothing to hate. It's play all of karams why we don't get along with some people. One time Bhai Kulbir Singh Jee you shared saakhi that someone was speaking against Bhai Sahib Bhai Jeevan Singh Jee and Bhai Sahib one time humbly touched their feet and from then on they softened their stance towards Bhai Sahib Jee.

1. The mind will never be at peace. No enmity/arguement in the world is worth losing ones 'Peace of Mind' . Naam Khanda cannot run within us. Only a hangkari can hate others.

2. Can't claim chatrik is above vikaars. But dass does ardass to SatGuroo at times:
"Fill my heart with so much love for You, that may I forget to hate and judge others" .

Chota veer

Definately Veer Jee said above "haumai naavai naal virdoh hai, due na vasai ik Thae"

1. a) You lose your peace of mind.
b) You hurt yourself.
c) You hurt the other person and God lives in every creature so don't hurt God.
d) You can make yourself sick and bring upon health problems upon yourself and the other person. Life is short, why do this? It will come back to you in one way or the other so sow such a seed?

2. Seek for forgiveness, seek the reason why they feel that way towards you. Find out if it's because of what you did. It's a bit strange to hate anyone for nothing, every thing has a reason.

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh


1] I don’t think we should have enmity, or harbor ill feeling towards anyone. It’s pointless and stems from anger, which is something we should strive to control. We are supposed to see Guru / Vaheguru’s jyot in everyone.

It’s a very ambitious idea to try and not dislike someone, when something is done against you. However, we must take the example of Guru Ji. When Guru Arjan Dev was being tortured, he didn’t have enmity towards any of them. If you look at severity of what Guru Ji was enduring, and can’t we endure a little slander or ill feelings from someone?

Also briefly want to mention, by having enmity we would be going against the notion of Sarbatt da bhalla. I'm not sure, but there was an instance where Ragbir Singh Bir writes about this. The story of when the neighbour's animals kept dying because, he cursed them when they disturbed his simran. A simran abhiyasi has some shakti in his / words and thoughts, so we should make sure they are not ill towards anyone.


2] When someone does enmity towards us...

Farīḏā jo ṯai māran mukī▫āʼn ṯinĥā na māre gẖumm.
Fareed, do not turn around and strike those who strike you with their fists.


Āpnaṛai gẖar jā▫ī▫ai pair ṯinĥā ḏe cẖumm. ||7||
Kiss their feet, and return to your own home. ||7||


This pankti shouldn't be taken for it's literal meaning. I take it metaphorically, in the sense that when someone is assaulting us with slander, enmity or ill feelings. Diffuse the situation by remaining humble, or doing simran.

Lastly, I think there is pankti by Bhagat Kabeer Ji. He states that if someone is slandering us, then it’s ok. As long as we are doing simran, they are taking the load of sins from us.

Bhul chuk marf karna

Question 1: What's the best reason for not doing enmity or harboring ill-feeling for anyone?

That makes you ill. Avoid sickness.

Question 2: What to do when someone else does enmity with you and harbors ill-feeling for you?

Stay healthy. Invite him for PARSHADDA with you.

Many thanks for the great answers. This is Satsang indeed.

Question 1: What's the best reason for not doing enmity or harboring ill-feeling for anyone?

This question came to the mind while reading the following Pankiti in Siri Bavan Akhri Sahib:

ਵਵਾ ਵੈਰੁ ਨ ਕਰੀਐ ਕਾਹੂ ॥

Guru Sahib very clearly gives the Hukam through the "ਵ" letter of Gurmukhi that "Don't do Vair (Enmity) with anyone". What a clear Hukam this is. Furthermore, if we want to be one with Vaheguru, who is Nirvair (without Vair or Enmity) then we too will have to become without enmity. Only like objects can merge.

In the very next Pankiti, Siri Guru jee gives the most effective reason as to why we should not do enmity with anyone:

ਘਟ ਘਟ ਅੰਤਰਿ ਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਸਮਾਹੂ ॥
(In every ਘਟ i.e. body, Vaheguru is merged i.e. residing.)

In the first Pankiti Guru Sahib gives Hukam to not do enmity with anyone and in the second Pankiti Guru Sahib provides us with the reason for not doing enmity. The reason is that since Vaheguru is residing in every Ghat (body), doing enmity with anyone amounts to doing enmity with Brahm (Vaheguru). Only a foolish person would dare to do enmity with Vaheguru.

Now the question arises that what happens if despite finding out that Brahm is residing in everyone, we still continue to harbor feelings of enmity for someone. Siri Guru jee in this Qaramati Pauri has given the solution for eradicating enmity from the mind:

ਵੈਰ ਵਿਰੋਧ ਮਿਟੇ ਤਿਹ ਮਨ ਤੇ ॥
ਹਰਿ ਕੀਰਤਨੁ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਜੋ ਸੁਨਤੇ ॥
ਵਰਨ ਚਿਹਨ ਸਗਲਹ ਤੇ ਰਹਤਾ ॥
ਨਾਨਕ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਜੋ ਕਹਤਾ ॥੪੬॥

The two things that we have to do are 1) listen to Hari-Kirtan (Kirtan of Gurbani) and 2) to say Har Har (i.e. Jap Naam) according to Gurmat (Gurmukh jo Kahta).

As a result of doing the aforementioned two spiritual actions, one becomes free of all enmity.

If we look at it reversely, we can safely assume that if someone has enmity for someone, in his mind, then he definitely has not listened to Hari Kirtan and has not said (japped) Gurmat Naam according to Gurmat because Hari Kirtan and Gurmat Naam do not let a person harbor enmity in his mind.

Question 2: What to do when someone else does enmity with you and harbors ill-feeling for you?

This is a tough question and here is what has come to mind with respect to this question:

1. First and the foremost thing is - don't reciprocate the enmity and ill-feeling for this person who hates you.

2. In your mind do an introspection to see if you have harmed the person in any way and if you do find that you have caused some harm to this person, apologize to this person and seek forgiveness from Vaheguru as well.

3. If the person is doing enmity despite any provocation, then it's best to ignore such person and continue to do the spiritual tasks Guru Sahib has assigned. This Gurbani Pankiti is very relevant in such situation - ਹਰਿ ਜਨੁ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮ ਗੁਨ ਗਾਵੈ ॥ ਜੇ ਕੋਈ ਨਿੰਦ ਕਰੇ ਹਰਿ ਜਨ ਕੀ ਅਪੁਨਾ ਗੁਨੁ ਨ ਗਵਾਵੈ ॥1॥ Harjan should continue singing Gurbani roopi Hargun (praises) and if someone slanders the Harjan, then the Harjan in return should not lose his Gunn of continuing to sing praises peacefully.

May Guru Sahib do Kirpa and remove enmity from the hearts of all Gursikhs, so that all Gursikhs may jointly do Kirtan and Naam Abhyaas.

Daas,
Kulbir Singh

Hai Rabba, kamaal kartee Sri Bavan Akhri nai.

Those Gursikhs who do Paath and follow the spiritual lessons contained within this Gurbani are surely wearing the real naulakh haars (sadly not myself)