1kaur Wrote:
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> I dont think Guru Sahib is saying Man and Husband
> are eternal soul mates as some people might
> think.
>
> so what do you think "ik jot" means?
>
> sukhdeep veerjee, are you married? if not, please
> refrain from criticizing the behavior of married
> singhs. let yourself experience marriage before
> condemning others for enjoying it. guru sahib
> blessed us with the life of a householder, why not
> enjoy that blessing?
>
>
> in my "modern" opinion this question shouldn't be
> about MIL vs DIL. this question is about gursikhi
> jeevan vs one who is uninterested in sikhi. why
> is everyone looking at it from a cultural/worldly
> family point of view? it seems to me that this
> should be taken from a sikhi point of view, and
> surely gursikhi is more important than the maya of
> attachment to parents.
I have visited retirement homes and I have seen the residents who suffer extremely from emotional pain. I wouldnt want any person to go through such pain even if they are a Manmukh. Its not polite to advise someone to renounce their dependent- parents even if the parents are manmukhs. They are still people with souls and feelings.
I have never once said renounced Grishti Jeevan. I think we differ in our understanding of what Grishti Jeevan is. My understanding of Grishti Jeevan is not limited to Husband and Wife instead it extends to parents, siblings, spouse, friends, etc. Guru Sahib never said renounce our family or our responsibilities, instead Guru Sahib said renounce the Panj Doot . Lets not forget ATTACHMENT is part of the Panj Doot.
Guru Sahib has showed us through example that we cannot force our beliefs on other family members or renounce them if they dont accept our beliefs. Guru Sahibs father was a disbeliever yet Guru Sahib did not renounce his parents. Guru Sahibs son Sri Baba Chand was an ungrateful son yet Guru Sahib still gave him pyaar and did not renounce him; instead the ungrateful son renounced his father and started his own cult.
I think its unfair to say I shouldnt give my input on Grishti Jeevan because I have chosen not to be married at this time. I dont like to talk about my personal life but since you have questioned my experience with Grishti Jeevan in trying to relate to the origianl poster I will narrate my own experience which I believe is not that much different then the original poster.
I do not come from a Gurmat Household. I was raised in the typical Manmukhi household in the house there was alcohol, meat, constantly watching Manmat T.V. shows, etc. As a mona I myself use to engage in these Manmukhi activities.Fortunately, my paternal grandfather was Dharmic person but because he was uneducated he could not teach me or the other siblings about Sikhi. Never the less he would recite Mool Mantar all day long in the midst of all these manmukhi activities. Eventually this paath had an impact on me and my brother. We eventually kept our Kesh. I first kept my kesh for non- religious reasons, but through the example of my Grandfather I decided I wanted to live a simple religious life like my grandfather who seemed to be unaffected by Maya. Shorty after I kept my kesh for religious reasons my grandfather passed away while visiting family in the UK. When I went to the funeral in the UK I decided to live in England for awhile because I really liked the popularity of Sikhi in this place. My parents convinced me to move back to the U.S.. Upon arriving I was quite sad living in a Manmukhi household. A household without a Gursikh is a cursed house full of Ghost. As a KeshDhari I was not making any progression in this household. Me and my brother decided to renounce this manmukhi household. We were both going to move to the UK despite knowing this is not what our parents would want. Our parents convinced us and told us not to move to the UK , but instead move to a place in Califorina that was more Gursikhi orientated.
With the support of our parents we decided to move to Fremont, California. Which has a truly blessed Gurdwara Sahib because it has Amrit Vela naam Simran 7 days a week, and Nitnem , Sukhmani Sahib, Asa Di Var, Kirtan seven days a week. Living in Fremont for 2 years was the best years of my life. I lived a simple life. I had an easy job where I only want to work twice a week. I had the leisure time to spend most of my time doing paath. I lived within walking distance of the Gurdwara. Eventually Singhs moved in with us, and I was having sangat in which I can learn more about Sikhi. It was during this period that I was blessed with Amrit. I was living a very happy life but my parents were not so happy. I noticed my mom did not seem happy that both of her sons were living far from her. I felt like I was being ungrateful to the person who raised me and took care of me as a child. Inside I felt like I was not pleasing Guru Sahib my renouncing my biological family. Eventually both me and my brother moved back with our parents in a city where Sikhi is non-existent.
When moving back my parents agreed not to have meat and alcohol in the house. There was many arguments over religious issues especially Bibek. My dad would say he doesnt respect me or my Bahman beliefs. He would also call me a crazy fanatic. All this anger was creating negative energy in the household.He also started to cook egg in the house, but eventually stopped after my brother told him too. We still have or ups and down but with Guru Sahibs kirpa there have been much changes. My parents dont watch as much TV, they dont bring meat/egg or alcohol in the house. They listen to kirtan and paath in the morning, and my dad gets up for Amrit Vela every day to recite JapJi Sahib. Gurbani has the power to change the environment if we have faith. On a personal level I have become much stronger in my Sikhi through this experience has made me more firm in my Sikh beliefs. Through discomfort or any suffering I turn to God . Sikhi is all about
ਮਨ ਸੁਧ ਰਖੈ, ਹਰਖ ਸੋਗ ਹਰੈ
As Sikh we dont have desire for comfort/happiness nor do we try to avoid suffering/discomfort we accept them as they come. Guru Sahib says through this suffering we get the remedy ( Naam Abyiaas) Dukh Daroo Sukh Rog Bhayaa Ja Sukh Taam Na Hoyee.
In regards to Ek Jot- I believe Ek Jot simply means one light. Gursikhi is the path of Non- Duality. There is no mine and yours. There is simply Tuhi Tuhi Tuhi ( God). Having said that there is no such thing as my wife my husband my children. etc We came in this world alone we will leave this world alone. There is no such a thing as union of lights ( jots) between husband and wife- this seems like Hari Krishan Yoga philosophy to me. Instead in Gurmat the union is between us ( the widowed souls) and our true family who wait in the Kings palace singing songs of joy and waiting for the day that they will embrace us with uplifting joy. This does not mean we share a special bond with spouse. We should regard spouse as an atma who independent from us- who has a Jeevan and whose goal is to go back home. We left home alone, and we will go back home alone. Only the Bhagat Sangat can accompany us to the next world- no family or friends can do this. For this reason Bhagat Sangat is our true friends our true spouse.
ਸਤਿਗੁਰਬਚਨਕਮਾਵਣੇਸਚਾਏਹੁਵੀਚਾਰੁ॥
