Vaheguru masculine? Soul feminine?

We know that Sikhi is a staunch proponent of gender equality.

Gurbani says

ਤੂੰ ਮੇਰਾ ਪਿਤਾ ਤੂੰਹੈ ਮੇਰਾ ਮਾਤਾ ॥
You are my Father, and You are my Mother. It calls upon Vaheguru as both Father and Mother.

I can understand why Vaheguru is referred to as Mother, because a mother cares for her child in all possible ways, a child depends on his/her mother for survival, sustenance and much more, not to forget love.

Gurbani says

ਇਸੁ ਜਗ ਮਹਿ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਏਕੁ ਹੈ ਹੋਰ ਸਗਲੀ ਨਾਰਿ ਸਬਾਈ ॥
In this world, there is one Husband Lord; all other beings are His brides.

Gurbani says

ਤੁਮਹਿ ਸੁ ਕੰਤ ਨਾਰਿ ਹਮ ਸੋਈ ॥੩॥
You are the Husband Lord, and I am the soul-bride. ||3||

Why isn't Vaheguru suggested as wife, why Husband?

Infact, why in all of Gurbani is Vaheguru called upon as "Husband Lord"? ਕੰਤ, ਪਿਰੁ, ਖਸਮ are all words that not just translate as huband but even imply the same.

Why is Vaheguru NEVER referred to as "wife", why always Husband and we souls are called soul brides. Feminine words such as Suchaji, Kuchaji, Gunvanti, Sobhavanti, etc are used for the soul, but masculine words as mentioned above, (including Karta Purakh and Akal Purakh, Purakh is translated by many as male) are used for Vaheguru.

Vaheguru is even called a brother.

ਤੂੰ ਮੇਰਾ ਬੰਧਪੁ ਤੂੰ ਮੇਰਾ ਭ੍ਰਾਤਾ ॥
You are my Relative, and You are my Brother.

Here ਭ੍ਰਾਤਾ means brother.

Again, why isn't Vaheguru referred to as "sister"?

Vaheguru is even called "male friend".

ਤੂ ਮੇਰੇ ਮੀਤ ਸਖਾ ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਾਨ ॥
O Lord, You are my Best Friend, my Companion, my Breath of Life.

Why is Vaheguru called ਸਖਾ which translates as "male friend" in common Indian linguistic tradition and not ਸਖੀ which is feminine?

ਆਉ ਸਖੀ ਹਰਿ ਮੇਲੁ ਕਰੇਹਾ ॥
Come, friends, let us meet our Lord.

Here ਸਖੀ refers to fellow GurSikhs, fellow "soul brides", ਸਖੀ translates as "female friend" in common Indian linguistic tradition.

Vaheguru is without gender, so is the soul. So why are all masculine connotations used for Vaheguru and all feminine ones used for the soul? There is no gender for Vaheguru or the soul. Plus there is gender equality, so what harm would it be if the roles were interchanged? If Vaheguru can be Mother, why not sister, why not female friend, why not wife? Why is Vaheguru referred to as brother and male friend, why always referred to as Husband?

Piyareyo, these are not my questions. I am very much at peace with how Gurbani refers to Vaheguru and the soul. May Guru Sahib keep it that way.

These are questions that will be thrown at us at some point in future by those who claim to be Western and/or claim to be feminists.

Please advise how would you respond.

Bhull chukk maaf

I am reading igranth.org, and transliteration of one Vaho Ang mentions that maya is husband of Vahiguroo:/
Bhul chuk muaf meri matt toree

In my view gender equality is a modern concept and we should not feel obligated to mould meanings of Gurbani to accomodate these modern concept.
In fact this kind of appeasement to masses would be very harmful.

Very good question, i have been thinking of it as well.

The easy answer is that at the time gurbani uchaaran hoi, the husband and wife relationship was not equal. The husband was was stronger, more powerful, wiser and the women was weaker, lower status. Society was such that a women needed a husband, without a khasm, her life was nothing, a waste, a burden. The man could do without wife. That is why a woman loved and feared her husband. These two qualities r very important in our relationship with waheguru. Also we need waheguru, without him our life is a waste n burden, but he can do without us. We need both love n fear, that is why husband/wife metaphor is used alot. With master/slave, the love is missing, with lovers and master/dog the fear is missing. So the same way, we will have to look at the time period to explain what is vanjaara, what is a khoo, what is a madani, what janeo guruji is talking about same way we will have to explain that male in that time period meant someone more powerful, so the soul which is weaker is portrayed as female.

The hard answer is determining, did guruji want or expect wives to treat their human husbands the same way? Did guruji want gender equality in the Western way? Of course guruji gave us spiritual equality, men n women can get naam n amrit n mukti. But did guruji change any of societies rules for women? One can say guru nanak dev ji said bhand jameeyai shabad for equality. But guru ji says not to treat women bad or think them inferior, but did guruji say men and women r the same and equal n must do the same things? I dont think sikhi ever changed societal roles of men n women? Women n men r different biologically and mentally ( personality wise). So i think sikh women who say i dont want to learn to cook n clean or take care of kids r doing wrong. They r not doing their societal responsibilities

Also there is no gender imbalance in describing God. Only those qualities are used to describe God, that are good qualities. That is why Mata or mother is used, to show God is caring, loving. Khasm, husband is used to show that God is the powerful master. Male friend is used to show that God will help you in hard times. Brother is used to show, God will always have ur back, will be ur right arm.

Words have connotations, which is associations beside the meaning. These associations have come from our inequality times, for example in the olden days wife is supposed to obey so

Wife stands for someone who obeys, is dependant on husband, and trying to win the affection of her husband. Can any of these qualities describe God?

Female friends, sakhis, are known to offer comisseration/consolment in hard times, gossiping, having fun time playing around, offering advice. Do these sound like good qualities for God? Only offering consolment without help is a weak trait. Offering advice is a good quality and so sakhi is used for saints n gurmukhs in gurbani.

If a sister is older than you then she was like a mother, if younger then the sister was ur responsibility and at best a playmate. Mother has already been used and the other qualities are not suitable to describe God.

The point is, during those times, there was gender inequality and so those words were used in that context. Just like we will have to research into olden time items mentioned in gurbani. That is why santhiya is needed to get the metaphors in the context of the time period.

eyesacademic jee, fully agree about appeasement. I wrote a separate article piece about this, slightly similar to the one I recently posted about same gender weddings.

Nimarta jee, thanks for brilliant responses. I just hope modern day Western-born or Western-raised GurSikhs can understand what you said.

Nimarta Jio,
what about maya being Vahiguroo husband ji?
maya as powerful as Vahiguroo, thus, worldly Sikhs prefer maya to kanio tiki sikhi path ji?

Bhul chuk muaf

We do not need to conform to any societal standards and expectations at all, whether they are modern or not. We need to use Gurmat to decide what to do. It is not a good thing to confine someone to a certain set of expectations simply because "that's how things have always been".

What matters is that society functions well. In order to do that, all of the responsibilities need to be fulfilled. What does not matter is who fulfills them. A wife that works full time is not doing anything wrong and neither is a husband that raises children as long as that arrangement is best for their family's success and well being. In the same way it is also fine to assign responsibilities according to traditional societal roles as long as that is what's best for the family.

We should not fall into a trap of thinking that only traditional societal roles are acceptable or the trap of thinking that those roles must be discarded. There is nothing against Gurmat either way. All that matters is that society functions well. Each person and family should decide what is best for their situation without any regard for society's or anyone else's expectations.

I think that since the blessings of rehat are the same for both genders in Sikhi, both genders have been given equality by Guru jee. I don't see any conflict between gender equality and Sikhi.
For example, some people may use feminism as a tool to oppose rehat. However, that does not mean that feminism is at fault. Those kinds of people will misuse any ideology they can to oppose rehat.