Continued from previous posts:In a letter dated March 4, 1960, University of Notre Dame, Indiana, USA, approved my status as graduate student and teaching assistant to do advanced work in Mathematics. I wanted to go. But not without asking Bhai Sahib. In 1947 he dissuaded me from taking the IAS exam. I disobeyed him and suffered. I didn’t want that to happen to me again. I settled with that if he didn’t want me to go, I wouldn’t. in this frame of mind, when I asked his permission, he said, “Go do good to others and come back” ਭਾਈ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਦੇ ਬਚਨ ਸਨ: ਜਾਉ, ਪਰਉਪਕਾਰ ਕਰੋ, ਮੁੜ ਕੇ ਆਉ। Subsequently however, when I was refused my visa on medical grounds, in July 1960, I came back to him worried. At that time he had difficulty speaking. But seeing me he said, “Why are you still here? Haven’t you gone?” My question was answered. I realized I will go. But (in the excitement) I forgot to ask him if my family could accompany me, for how long could I stay abroad, when will I see him again. This was my last Darshan of him. After that I never saw him except in my dreams. I arrived in the states early in September 1960. There in a letter from my wife I learnt that the Saint who had guided and helped me so much, to whom I owed so much and even foretold me my future, had expired in April 1961. I had always desired to go back to India to cling to his feet, but that was not to be.
My present University hired me from September 1961 and my wife and four children joined me in Canada in May 1963.
In September 1970 I sent Kirpal, then 19, to the University of Calgary, as a student. He failed his year there, because, as I learnt later, he started chasing girls. So I asked him to come to my university the following school year. He did come home in the summer months, but didn’t listen to my advice and returned to Calgary. I refused to support him there. Over the telephone and in letters, he became very rude. In a very nasty letter in October 1971, he told me he cut his hair. This was a shock to me. Three months later he said he wanted to marry a German girl, which was another shock to me. Finally I wrote him a long letter in February 1972. In this I told him for the first time what Bhai Sahib said to him 17 years ago in the sugarcane farm in Jullundur. I said that I was there afraid for him. I also tried to dissuade him from marrying that white girl. I implored before him to regrow his hair and to come back home. With trembling hands I remember, I also wrote that if he could not regrow hair, and for as long as he would not, our relation as father and son would stand terminated. He never replied to that letter. In April 1972, at the time of Vaisakhi celebration in Windsor, I learned from my younger brother that Kirpal had made his girl pregnant and that the two had secured an abortion. This news tasted to me like death. In June 1972, he married her. This marriage destroyed what little hope I had of regaining him. There was not contact left between us, even though I gave him to understand (through my brother) that I would recognize their marriage if they both came back into Sikhism. Once or twice in these years, he did phone his mother. He also tried to get a common friend to intervene. I had the impression that he wanted to come back and kept waiting for him. In September 1974, one day when I came back home, I met a tall white girl and a taller coloured boy standing in front of my house. The boy tried to fight back his nervousness and the girl tried to force out a smile. I asked them in but before they stepped in, my other son Dial told me that they were Kirpal and Peggy. He was still shaven. For that and for what I heard. I was angry with them. He was angry with me. I asked him, “Who are you?” Peggy said, “He is your son, Kirpal” I said to him, “Regrow your hair and then come back.” They both left, Kirpal still yelling at me. That was the last time I saw him.
I now regret I didn’t then sit with him and talk things over. His coming back was an indication that he was willing to change. The young lady likely will also have accepted some change. If only Kirpal were to come back in Sikh form. But how could that be? He had to mess his life. The Saint’s words had been said long ago.
Meanwhile I had decided that Canada was not the country for our teenage children. So I sent my family to India to live. This was the summer of 1974 and 1975. In May 1975 I also went to India. In late July that year, my wife and I, and our youngest son Kirat, went to Kumarhatti in Shimla hills where Bhai Sahib used to stay for summer. Babuji Mall Singh (himself a saint and companion of Bhai Sahib for over 50 years) also joined us there. Every time he talked to my wife he told her to not let me return to Canada alone. I told him in Canada my children were in danger of becoming Christians and that therefore I wouldn’t take them back with me. He still insisted that my wife would accompany me. He even told her to go on fast, or to sit Dharna in my way, to stop me from returning to Canada without her. I started wondering why Babuji said this again and again. We left Kumarhatti on August 6 and Babuji saw us off at the bus stop, still insisting that my wife accompany me to Canada. On September 4, while I alone was leaving home for Canada, my wife reminded me of what Babuji said so many times. I reached my home in Canada on September 5. A month later, on October 6th evening, my brother phoned me from the states that earlier that day, a little after 5 in the morning, Kirpal had been killed in a car accident near Medicine Hall in Alberta. I then realized the reason for Babuji’s insistence. I immediately wired my wife. She arrived on October 12. We cremated Kirpal’s body on October 14, 1975. He was little over 24 at the time of his death.
I offered last Ardas for Kirpal’s soul. Thought of his long separation from us before death made me cry. Sobbing in Sangat before Guru Granth Sahib, I said, “His death does not pain me. His sins do.” I undertook to become responsible for his sins as if I had done them. But asked that he be pardoned. I even asked transferred to him whatever little was my own spiritual attainment. Of course I remembered Bhai Sahib during the prayer and asked his help to save Kirpal, his mother, and me. From the Guru, I asked assurance of Kirpal’s protection in specific words which I actually spelled out. I asked to be assured, and in exactly these words, that Kirpal’s sins had been washed, that the messenger of death would not inflict pain on him, that the Guru would hold him by the finger to see him through difficult passes and that he would be in peace everafter. In tears all the time, I felt relieved at the conclusion of Ardas when I said that if he were to be reborn I would be happy to welcome him back into my family line. At this we read a Shabad from Guru Granth Sahib. A miracle happened. Everybody present witnessed it. The Shabad soothed me by saying exactly what I wanted said, and in exactly the words in which I had asked it said. In joy I threw my arms in the air, because I had no doubt that Kirpal had been pardoned. The Shabad was the last on Ang 895 of the Holy Guru Granth Sahib. Bhai Gurdev Singh read it for us. It is as follows:
ਰਾਮਕਲੀਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥
ਦੁਲਭਦੇਹਸਵਾਰਿ ॥ ਜਾਹਿਨਦਰਗਹਹਾਰਿ ॥ ਹਲਤਿਪਲਤਿਤੁਧੁਹੋਇਵਡਿਆਈ ॥ ਅੰਤਕੀਬੇਲਾਲਏਛਡਾਈ ॥੧॥ ਰਾਮਕੇਗੁਨਗਾਉ ॥ ਹਲਤੁਪਲਤੁਹੋਹਿਦੋਵੈਸੁਹੇਲੇਅਚਰਜਪੁਰਖੁਧਿਆਉ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ ਊਠਤਬੈਠਤਹਰਿਜਾਪੁ ॥ ਬਿਨਸੈਸਗਲਸੰਤਾਪੁ ॥ ਬੈਰੀਸਭਿਹੋਵਹਿਮੀਤ ॥ ਨਿਰਮਲੁਤੇਰਾਹੋਵੈਚੀਤ ॥੨॥ ਸਭਤੇਊਤਮਇਹੁਕਰਮੁ ॥ ਸਗਲਧਰਮਮਹਿਸ੍ਰੇਸਟਧਰਮੁ ॥ ਹਰਿਸਿਮਰਨਿਤੇਰਾਹੋਇਉਧਾਰੁ ॥ ਜਨਮਜਨਮਕਾਉਤਰੈਭਾਰੁ ॥੩॥ ਪੂਰਨਤੇਰੀਹੋਵੈਆਸ ॥ ਜਮਕੀਕਟੀਐਤੇਰੀਫਾਸ ॥ ਗੁਰਕਾਉਪਦੇਸੁਸੁਨੀਜੈ ॥ ਨਾਨਕਸੁਖਿਸਹਜਿਸਮੀਜੈ ॥੪॥੩੦॥੪੧॥
On hearing this Shabad my pain stopped and healing started. Babuji wrote me a very moving letter. In this he clearly said that Kirpal will be reborn in my family line. Subsequently he even discussed it with me and my wife. He didn’t say when. Will Kirpal be reborn as my grandson? Or as what? He didn’t say that either. But with my experience of Bhai Sahib and Babuji’s earlier predictions, I do not doubt that this one will also come true. I am waiting for Kirpal.
I treasure in my heart many more of Bhai Sahib’s sayings. Some of these I can’t say in English. In another one, he said such a big thing about such a small man, that I hesitate to disclose it. It is about me. But happen, it will too, no doubt about that. His words, “Do good to others”, said to me on my eve of departure to America, lead to my involvement in Gurdwara work in Sudbury and Toronto. But inclusion of detail of such involvement in this article will make it too long, I am afraid.
Bhai Sahib had miraculous powers. He could read minds and foretell futures. His words always came true. By his magical powers, he could changes one’s future. He could even alter the course of nature. Once, during his Kirtan in Narangwal, rain started. The Sangat started moving for cover. The heavenly bliss coming from Kirtan was thus interrupted. At that time the line they were singing was ਕਿਛੁਹਾਥਿਕਿਸੈਦੈਕਿਛੁਨਾਹੀ.. At this he lifted his hand and in a loud voice he said ਇਸ ਮੇਘਲੇ ਦੇ ਹੱਥ ਭੀ ਕੁਛ ਨਹੀਂ। Soon the rain stopped and his Kirtan continued. His Kirtan would usually last for well over twenty four hours, sometimes over thirty-six. All these hours he would sit there, sometimes motionless for hours. In his company ordinary men and women turned into singers of Gurbani, and he collected hundreds such around him, because many singing birds alighted on his Kirtan-Sarovar. A school teacher (I think Tarlok Singh was his name) used to sing a long Sarang Shabad, ਸਭਦੇਖੀਐਅਨਭੈਕਾਦਾਤਾ ॥ and the Sangat would be spell-bound. Bhai Jiwan Singh who sang Kirtan for Bhai Sahib for a quarter century is still doing it. A young lady used to sing a Shabad, ਮੋਹਿਲਾਗਤੀਤਾਲਾਬੇਲੀ ॥ Twice I heard her sing it. But only twice. It was blissful. A boy of ten used to sit and sing all night. Bhai Sahib did not like the Tana Riri of the musicians. He sang Gurbani in straight tunes. He revived the disappearing Sikh tradition of night long Kirtan. His Rain Sabai Kirtan always started with the Shabad headed “Din Rain” on Ang 136 of Guru Granth Sahib. As Kirtan progressed, the voice of singers became hoarser but more honied, till, around early morning, the Kirtan seemed coming from heaven, and became unbearably sweet.
Preetam Singh