Pind and marriage

need some help..

both have taken amrit, both are different caste, both have different surnames but it has come to our attention we have the same Pind, the boys pind doesnt live there no more and havnt for a very long time..

is having the same pind a problem even not being related and beng different caste?

Would it have become an issue in Guru ji's times? The answer would be NO.

Hence, it should not be a concern.

Probably, the tradition forbidding same pind marriages was to develop and nourish the feeling of brotherhood and sisterhood within villages. With families living away from same villages; it should not be a taboo, as in your case. We need to be very practical.

Our ancestors wanted to keep the society clean which is why they prohibited doing marriage in the same village. During our generation, the understanding was that the girl from your village was your sister and this is how she was treated. Marriage was unthinkable in the same village. The husband of the girl from your village was treated as Javaaee (son-in-law) by the whole village. If someone from outside teased a girl from the village, then the whole village used to stand up and fight.

There is no mention of this rule in Gurmat but this rule was good because it gave the feeling of family within the village and there was much less Kaam related dirt within the village. On the other hand, in Muslims, they are allowed to get married to even their first cousins which results in segregation of girls from boys even within the family.

Just like we follow the law of the country we live in, even if it's not mentioned in Gurmat, the same way such good rules of not getting married within your village should be followed. Some Sikhs from Rawalpindi background get married to their cousins. This is not right for the society and as thus should be avoided.

Guru Sahib knows better.

Kulbir Singh

Wholly agree with Kulbir Singh Ji. Despite what some say not all Punjabi cultural values are bad. In addition there is a higher % of deformities in the offspring of those that marry with cousins and should be avoided at all costs.

Also, i was under the impression that everyone (or a good majority) of people (of the same caste) in the village are related to one another. Certainly in my village, everyone that i have been introduced to by my dad is somehow related. It may be a very distant relation going back a few generations, but the relation is there. So my village is one huge family- hence it would be forbidden to marry within the village as it would mean marring a relative. Im assuming this is the case in most Punjabi villages?!

If they are different caste doesn't that mean they will not be related?

In old panjabi culture only same caste marriage would have been acceptable, so the rule about the marriage within pind seems likely to apply to same caste only? or not?

It is a good rule for avoiding marrying a distant relative, but I would've thought different caste would rule out that possibility? Unless someone can explain differently.

Even if they are from different castes, marriage within the same village is still frowned upon in our culture. I personally am all for this cultural rule. This rule is there to avoid Ishq-Mashooqi in the same village and to keep the society clean.

Recently the Maha-Khap Panchayat in Haryana and UP re-affirmed the rule that the marriage in the same village (and same Gotra) is not allowed.

Kulbir Singh

Same Problem

Should we not change that rule as we dont live in those pinds. In the west, Our pind should be the ppl attending the same gurudwara, the same sangat. This should eliminate ppl tryin to ask for saak at gurudware and samagams as it makes ones very uncomfortable

I agree with 'Nimarta' Jee in that it should include your direct/regular sangat. This could prevent a lot of the ashki kaam related type issues that seem to be coming up with youth these days. Could help people see others as their actual brothers and sisters and prevent people from trying to search for their own future spouses at programs and such.

From my understanding on the history of this tradition, this started because in pre-Sikh days many people from the villages of Punjab would marry whoever was already in the village with no regards to anything other than religion and caste; (though caste eventually became negotiable during the era of Muslim invasions into Punjab to prevent Muslims and Hindus from marrying.)
By the time the Sikh religion had started everyone in some villages were very similar genetically in the villages and needed to move out; (Pakistani Muslims still practice the marrying inside family, and don't have a problem with marrying in their villages).
Even though Sikh faith says nothing about this issue, you shouldn't be marrying people of your own village because of potential genetic defects.