Home*****
As I headed towards the bus stop, after school, I looked around, taking everything in. I thought to myself, and wondered, what will happen? As I stood there, watching people laughing, snickering, driving by, indulged in their own lives, I felt this sinking feeling in my stomach. I realized, just then, at that moment, that this wasn’t real. As I felt my hands, and looked at my reflection, in such confusion I stood there.
A lady asked me where I was headed, drifting me away from my deep thoughts,
I smiled, “Home,” I said.
She looked at me, in a weird way, and smiled.
She told me, “Ah, there is no where else in this world, that is better than home.”
That sentence, it made me wonder, as I sat in the bus, looking at these creations, I thought, very hard. I didn’t know how to take everything else at once. I went home, and asked my dad.
“Who created this world? It’s so amazing, yet… horrible”
“Vaheguroo”
He looked at me, and walked away. Vaheguroo, I thought, Vaheguroo. How may this Vaheguroo feel? How may Vaheguroo think of me? Vaheguroo, all I could think of, was that exactly. All day, all night, I sat there in remembrance of all the times I would talk to spiritual people, Vaheguroo. I realized, just that moment, that same second that He was what I was looking for.
I woke up the next morning, and headed out to my search for Vaheguroo. Little did I know that Vaheguroo was inside me, at home, waiting for me to call on Him? I went to various places, and asked various people, I asked and wondered and thought, and cried, I wanted Vaheguroo, now.
One day, I was approached by an old Singh. He came towards me, with a smile, a blue chola, khanda, dumalla, and was holding a type of bow and arrow in his hand.
“Vaheguroojeekaakhalsaa, Vaheguroojeekeefathehh!”
“Vaheguroojeekaakhalsaa, Vaheguroojeekeefathehh!”
“Hanjee, I’ve seen you come here everyday, in some curiosity asking everyone. I sit there, and watch you everyday. What is it Bhujangan jee? What are you so curious about?”
I looked at him, and I had a feeling that he already knew what exactly I was searching for, but I told him anyway,
“Vaheguroo, I’m looking for Vaheguroo.”
He smiled, and looked at me like very closely.
“Come with me.”
I was so excited; I thought he was going to show me the answer. As I filled with a kind of adrenaline rush, I followed him. He brought me in the charans of Guroo Granth Sahib Jee, as he bowed down, I did too.
“Bhujangan jee, your answers, your doubts, your mysteries, your love, your thirst, everything will be fulfilled, just read.”
And that moment I awakened. As I realized I sung;
ਜਾਗੁਰੇਮਨਜਾਗਨਹਾਰੇ||
ਬਿਨੁਹਰਿਅਵਰੁਨਆਵਸਿਕਾਮਾਝੂਠਾਮੋਹੁਮਿਥਿਆਪਸਾਰੇ||੧||ਰਹਾਉ||
I had already been learning Gurmukhi my whole life, so this wouldn’t have been such a difficulty for me. I went home and asked my father to bring me a Saroop of Guroo Saheb. Everyday, I would read, and read, all day long, trying to find the answer. As I read, and tried my best to understand, I realized I needed one main thing to get Vaheguroo. Amrit.
A few months later, I took Amrit. The panj giving me the Naam, flowing through my pores, the Amrit sweetening my tongue, the Naam vibrating, Vaah-Gurrro, it was perfect. Never did I want to lose this feeling, this perfection; never did I think I’d feel this way. Everyday, in search for the true Guroo, I listened to keertan, recited Naam, and my love, it would grow, grow more. As it grew, and as I started to realize the reality, my love getting stronger, I felt so close to Vaheguroo. He was close by; he was my true friend, my best friend, my mom, my dad, my lost husband, my sister and my brother.
I sat there, everyday, in deep meditation; I would forget my surroundings, I wouldn’t know what happened to this body, I would be emerged into His Naam. I found great sangat, and would go there everyday. Everything was becoming clear.
Vaheguroo, he was my home. And that moment, I remembered my first realization of Vaheguroo, at the bus stop.
Sitting there, in sangat with my eyes closed, Vaah-Guroo, I called him. I wanted to go home.
And finally, I was home, I was with my one and only Vaheguroo.
Home sweet home.
******
ਰਾਤੀਰੁਤੀਥਿਤੀਵਾਰ||
ਪਵਣਪਾਣੀਅਗਨੀਪਾਤਾਲ||
ਤਿਸੁਵਿਚਿਧਰਤੀਥਾਪਿਰਖੀਧਰਮਸਾਲ||
ਤਿਸੁਵਿਚਿਜੀਅਜੁਗਤਿਕੇਰੰਗ||
ਤਿਨਕੇਨਾਮਅਨੇਕਅਨੰਤ||
ਕਰਮੀਕਰਮੀਹੋਇਵੀਚਾਰੁ||
ਸਚਾਆਪਿਸਚਾਦਰਬਾਰੁ||
ਤਿਥੈਸੋਹਨਿਪੰਚਪਰਵਾਣੁ||
ਨਦਰੀਕਰਮਿਪਵੈਨੀਸਾਣੁ||
ਕਚਪਕਾਈਓਥੈਪਾਇ||
ਨਾਨਕਗਇਆਜਾਪੈਜਾਇ||੩੪||
Baairaagan
Tegh Kaur
ਸਤਿਗੁਰਬਚਨਕਮਾਵਣੇਸਚਾਏਹੁਵੀਚਾਰੁ॥