Lost baby . Please help with the situation

Wahegurujikakhlsa
Wahegurujikifateh
Very dear (Amrit abhilakhee) friend of mine and her partner were expecting after 10 years of Anand karaj
Didn't went to any babas or any deras except Gurdwara sahib
Were in Satgur's Bhaana last year husband (bhai sahib) did ardaas after being emotional seeing kids playing in Gurdwara sahib
Maharaj did baksheesh next month with pregnancy
Bhenji had started Sehaj paath some months ago
Both decided they will take Amrit after the pregnancy is over. They started wearing kakaars
They daily did shukrana to guru sahib regarding baby.
At 23 weeks the labour started and they lost the baby after which bhenji is Ak much devastated
Her faith is shaken
Where should she go. Crying all the time they think they were doing everything everything right. There is so much sadness in her voice
Doctors say even if she falls pregnant next time she has to be on bed for 36 weeks
She lost her job. They think guru sahib has pushed them out of his place
They are becoming so much sad and questioning everything even baanis
Any ideas gurmuko...how to get past this vela of dukh
Please help my gursikh friends

WaheguruJiKaKhalsa,
WaheguruJiKiFateh,
If Guru Gobind Singh Jio, and Bhai Sahib Bhai Randhir Singh Jio (who also lost everything but not his faith in Hukam of Guru Maharaj to remain steadfast in maintaining sanctity of Khandey Batey Ki Pahul), were here today, they were say, "agia bhi Akal Ki, tabhi chalio Panth, sabh Sikhan ko Hukam hai, Guru Manio Granth! Guru Gobind Singh Jio had advised a King in Sri Kalgidhar Chamatkar to do Asa Di Vaar EVERDAY, and I believe Sukhmani Sahib (if you could) is also very necessary.
So, do 24/ 7 Gurbani, Keertan, Naam, go to Gurdwara and do sewa as much as possible...peaceful bliss to mind is worth it, after all everything else is simply maya jio...
Bhul chuk muaf
WaheguruJiKaKhalsa,
WaheguruJiKiFateh

..I would like to humbly also suggest reading all of Bhai Sahib Bhai Randhir Singh Ji books found on bsrstrust.org or here:
[www.globalgurmat.com]
and Bhai Vir Singh Ji's books:
[www.dropbox.com]
Bhul chuk muaf
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa,
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

And I don't know where this couple are residing
but do attempt to go to Sant Sohan Singh Ji's
Gurdwara in Malacca, Malaysia. My niece could
not conceive and is now very happy mother of baby
boy expecting another so soon as she is enjoying
1st so much. She went to many doctors to no
avail, then my sister took her to Sant Ji's Gurdwara
and she found new doctor who detected 3 cysts in her
womb, and removed them
Waheguru bless this beloved couple soon too
Bhul chuk muaf
Sri Sukhmani path Guru Maharaj reminds us if
we happily accept His Hukam, we will be rewarded
much more as my niece, always smiling although
she was bleeding and much pain from cysts in secrecy
not telling even her mother until she was rushed
to hospital
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

..sorry forum admin for so many posts...
just to add that Sant Sohan Singh Ji's Naam can be listened to on www.rajkaregakhalsa.net, click on audio, then click on Simran and there are
2 of his Naam Simran recordings to enjoy!
and if you click on keertan, you can listen to Bhai Rajinder Singh Ji, Singapur wale..also blissful ras...wish there were some of Bhai Sahib Bhai Randhir Singh Ji's to listen to also..

They have been doing all above bhai sahib jio
They were almost doing panj granthi daily even before pregnancy
People and relatives around are all nastik and still they think all are blessed with kids easily
And never been near Gurdwara
It's hard to ask them to do more paath coz they were already doing much much more than me

Charan_door,
Staying happy and take personal hukamnama, then
just go with natural flow as I have personally
learnt in my own personal issues...Akal Purakh
Jio gave birth to creation after meditating for
ages...

vaheguru ji ka khalsa
vaheguru ji ki fateh

This is a very sad situation for them.and guru sahib is putting them through a difficult test.
The best thing I feel you could do for them is daily paat and ardaas. Maybe 5 chaupai sahib de paat followed by ardas.
This is all in guru sahibs will and only with his kirpa will they pass this test.
Also they need sangat at this stage so try to be there for them, support them the best you can. Visit them often.

how about just don't procreate?
why do people treat these situations like they are holocausts?

Plz don't mind Sewak Ji
But I am very sure u haven't faced any situation like this.
Vaheguru aapji my khush rakhe hopefully u don't face this situation

I won't mind ur insensitive reply
It's sad .. Hirda of gursikh should be very sensitive even for animals
Seems like u are a tough one

Sewak Ji

How many couples u have seen who would start going to deras and babas if they don't have kids
Bhenji lost her job in engineering field which she studied and worked for 14 years
What did she start after this more paath
How many gursikh a have u seen nearly doing panj granthi paath everyday

By all this I am just saying above are very special people to my heart only reason being
Till now despite all adversaries they were still on paath of Sikhism

This is the most difficult test and they seem to be loosing the battle with maya

Very sorry to hear about this couple's plight. It's great that they do Punj Granthi Paath everyday; this will ensure Guru Sahib's Khushi but we also need to realize that we see difficult times because of our own past Karma. By doing more Paath, Seva and Simran we can't lay claim over things we want. We still need to be humble before Guru Sahib and continue begging for mercy. Such Pankitis as this one are there for us:

ਜੇ ਸੁਖੁ ਦੇਹਿ ਤ ਤੁਝਹਿ ਅਰਾਧੀ ਦੁਖਿ ਭੀ ਤੁਝੈ ਧਿਆਈ ॥੨॥ ਜੇ ਭੁਖ ਦੇਹਿ ਤ ਇਤ ਹੀ ਰਾਜਾ ਦੁਖ ਵਿਚਿ ਸੂਖ ਮਨਾਈ ॥੩॥
(if you give me happiness, I will worship you and in sorrow too I will remember you. If you give me hunger then I would satiate my hunger by remaining hungry and this way I would feel happiness even in sorrow).

The standards of Gurmat are very high. No one can obey Guru Sahib's Bhaana to the fullest but we should take Gyaan from Gurbani and apply in our lives, especially when we are going through adversity.

What can we do in front of Vaheguru? By losing faith, things will not change, rather they will become worse. Our only hope is to continue keeping our head bowed in front of Vaheguru and this way continue to beg for mercy. If he does not want to grant a certain wish (because of our own Karma), we should not get upset with Vaheguru. Our goal is to meet Vaheguru. It's up to him to grant us our wishes or not. Either way, we should try to stay in Bhaana. It's easier said than done but if you think logically, there is only one way and that is to stay forever at the doorstep of Vaheguru. One day, He surely would fill us with His immense Kirpa.

Kulbir Singh

Shukrana bhai sahib jeo

Charan_dhoor Jio,
I am a pappi murakh female but received Guru Gobind Singh Jio first very very beautiful darshan
In dream after visiting Malacca Gurdwara.
Sant Sohan Singh Jio passed much before I visited Gurdwara so it is not like the couple will
be going against Gurmat Maryada or visiting a baba...just
to get blessings of this Gurdwara where Sant Ji meditated and
received blessings of Guru Nanak Dev Jio, and
Guru Gobind Singh Jio too.
Also, being in distress and tense could be obstacle
to have a successful pregnancy, so please
convey to couple to be relaxed and happy.
Bhul chuk muaf

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa,
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

what is the big deal if some child isn't born?? is it such a tragedy??? some people overreact to another level.

Sevak123 jeeo, everyone is different when it comes to facing sorrowful conditions. Gurmukhs of high Avastha themselves are oblivious to sorrows that come towards them but they are not oblivious to sorrows coming to others. They feel other people's sorrows and this feeling comes from Daya or compassion.

For most people, regardless of whether they are Gursikhs or not, not being able to have a child or losing a child during pregnancy is very difficult to endure. Gursikhs realize and feel the sorrows of fellow beings and as such sympathize with them.

From a Gurmukh's point of view, every Dukh and Sukh of this world is false and an illusion but this does not prevent them from sympathizing with others or even doing Paath, Simran and Ardaas to relieve others of their sorrows.

If we don't sympathize with others or if we don't feel compassion for other people's sufferings, then the natural course of Karma law is that we would have to endure similar sorrow in order to learn.

Kulbir Singh

Sevak Jee if you can not pitch in a positive or a helpful advice, it is better not to say anything at all. Only those who lose their loved ones can truly understand what it is like to go through the pain. What kind of advice is of not to procreate? Pain of losing anyone can come anytime or in anyway. I am sure the mentioned couple had hopes and dreams with their unborn child. And them feeling dukh for losing all of that is not overreacting! The time a woman concieves a child, is when the bond form automatically. There are so many women who wish they could give birth, and have a child to called them mothers, yet it is not in their karam. They struggle going to hospitals, receiving so many treatments, getting so many medications, just so they could have a child, and experience becoming mothers. It might be a hard concept for you to understand, but it is a reality. Please be a bit more sensible on your replies to this sensitive issue.

But why is it considered necessary for a married couple to become parents??? why can't they live a childfree married life.
women obviously would defend having children.

I think I can guess who sevak123 is, others should too.

sevak123 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> But why is it considered necessary for a married
> couple to become parents??? why can't they live a
> childfree married life.
> women obviously would defend having children.


sevak123 ji,
Are you intending to say that men don't ever long for having children?

sevak ji
IF YOU WANT GURU NANAK JI'S CHARAN IN YOUR HIRDA
PLEASE TRY TO FEEL COMPASSION AND DAYA IN YOUR HEART

"gursikh ultimately guru varga hi ho jaanda hai"

this is the following pessage from the another link regarding gursikhs and children

i want to make 3 points
1. please remember the saakhi of baba budha ji's blessings and ardaas and guru hargobind sahib ji's birth
i dont need to explain it. the saaki should come in your mind

2. all gurus and gursikhs have children as a part of anand karaj and gristhi jiwan.

3. guruji used to bless people who due to their karmas didnt have children
please remember saakhi of guru hargobind sahib ji blessing a bibi with a kid by drawing "ek(1) on sand

this is story of Jathedar Surat Singh Ji, Pooran Ji - haD 2 SON WHO PASSED AWAY IN THEIR TEENAGE YEARS

One story that Bibi ji had told us on one of her previous visits was the one we most know about, the loss of his sons in accident in 1982 and how it was handled by him. The day he heard of the accident, even then Bhai Sahiab ji did not miss his Amrit Vela. During the Bhog program Bibi ji was so badly distraught that she could not walk on her own into the Diwan hall, she was helped along by the sangat as they had requested her to do keertan. She sat down and the sangat took over from there. Later Bhai Sahiab ji talked to Bibi ji about being strong, and accepting Guru Sahiabs Pana, he said to her “do you not think I am not upset I have lost both of my arms in this tragedy” (relating to his sons) Bhai Sahiab exemplified what it meant to lead the Gursikh way of life. The Value of a Gem does not come close to the real value of Pooran Jee, he was a priceless soul

bhai sahib(husband) had a personal hukamnama after ardass which is as follows
please share views

ਧਨਾਸਰੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥
ਜਾ ਕਉ ਹਰਿ ਰੰਗੁ ਲਾਗੋ ਇਸੁ ਜੁਗ ਮਹਿ ਸੋ ਕਹੀਅਤ ਹੈ ਸੂਰਾ ॥
ਆਤਮ ਜਿਣੈ ਸਗਲ ਵਸਿ ਤਾ ਕੈ ਜਾ ਕਾ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪੂਰਾ ॥੧॥
ਠਾਕੁਰੁ ਗਾਈਐ ਆਤਮ ਰੰਗਿ ॥
ਸਰਣੀ ਪਾਵਨ ਨਾਮ ਧਿਆਵਨ ਸਹਜਿ ਸਮਾਵਨ ਸੰਗਿ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
ਜਨ ਕੇ ਚਰਨ ਵਸਹਿ ਮੇਰੈ ਹੀਅਰੈ ਸੰਗਿ ਪੁਨੀਤਾ ਦੇਹੀ ॥
ਜਨ ਕੀ ਧੂਰਿ ਦੇਹੁ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਨਿਧਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਕੈ ਸੁਖੁ ਏਹੀ ॥੨॥੪॥੩੫॥

vaheguru

Here is rajkaregakhalsa.net translation jio:
[www.rajkaregakhalsa.net]

Charan dhoor Jio,
The personal Hukam is probably saying for
Husband to do sewa of Gurmukhs, while loving
Naam..then if His or Gurmukh mercy prevails,
couple will be blessed?
Sevak123, I was a very bitter person before my
daughter came in my life.
Children's sweet innocence as in video mellows
stone heart like mine, as video will prove..
my daughter too displayed such when I once told
her that her kisses are sweet, she ran her 2 year
young finger on her cheek and licked it, to
test sweetness)

jwie puChu sohwgxI qusI rwivAw iknI guxNI ]
jaae pushahu sohaaganee thusee raaviaa kinee gunaaee |
Go, and ask the happy soul-brides, By what virtuous qualities do you enjoy your Husband Lord?

shij sMqoiK sIgwrIAw imTw bolxI ]
sehaj santhokh seegaareeaa mithaa bolanee |
We are adorned with intuitive ease, contentment and sweet words.

ipru rIswlU qw imlY jw gur kw sbdu suxI ]2]
pir reesaaloo thaa milai jaa gur kaa sabadh sunee |2|
We meet with our Beloved, the Source of Joy, when we listen to the Word of the Guru's Shabad.||2||


Gursikh should always use sweet words so that it doesn't hurt others...

Bhul chuk muaf...

A humble benti with folded hands.

Our first and foremost source of solace and hope should be Gurbani. Also, let me add, please speak with some elderly Gursikh(s) known to you. Better if there is more than one, like if you could consult 5 devout Singhs and speak to them, I am sure they could guide you better. Or, you may want to speak to someone who has been through a similar ordeal, if not something worse. An online forum is definitely helpful, but this is something I am not sure how many over here would really have an advise on. Giving advice and suggestions is the easiest thing to do, but a practical solution can come only from someone who has been in those shoes and came out.

vadh ghatt bollan vaaste bhul chukk maaf karni jee