Inter-Jatha Anand Kaaraj? Some advice would be deeply appreciated..

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

With Satgurus apaar kirpa, I have reached a marriageable age and my family are now seeking a life partner for myself.

My Amrit Sanchaar was organised by Akhand Kirtani Jatha however my family have introduced me to someone whose Amrit Sanchaar was organised by Damdami Taksaal. My family are not Amritdhari and do not know any Jatha sangat. Local Gursikhs have not helped which is ok; I accept that they may have their own reasons for this.

However, I am unsure about marrying someone whose Rehat is different..I'm especially thinking about Amritvela here as our Amritvela routine will be different, particularly with regards to Naam Abhiyaas. My family are really pushing this rishta but I want to deal with this tactfully and sensibly without hurting anyones feelings.

I know there are some mature Gursikhs on this forum, so I would really really appreciate it if you would share your thoughts and give some advice on this situation.

Thank you..

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

1) Can you clarify on Keski issue? in future if she chooses to take it off, she can say "its not kakkar anyway nor compulsory".

Chota veer

Although we should respect everybody irrespective of jatha or even religion for that matter, I don't think it's wise to marry someone does not have the same Sikhi values as you. A marriage partner should have the same basic goals/ideas of Sikhi as you or else it won't work out. Issues like Keski, Raag Mala, Naam Abiyaas, Nitnem size may seem small in the grand scheme of things but when it comes down to something like marriage, the nitty gritty details make a big difference.

The answer to this question will lead to a huge debate...i will leave it at that

Must agree ^ with veerji above.

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piyasi chatrik
1) Can you clarify on Keski issue? in future if she chooses to take it off, she can say "its not kakkar anyway nor compulsory".

Chota veer,
~*Chatrik*~

The Bibi does not accept Keski as Kakkar however does wear a Dastaar. However thank you for highlighting this issue, it does need to be addressed..And thank you for your reply, much appreciated!

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GurmanSingh
Although we should respect everybody irrespective of jatha or even religion for that matter, I don't think it's wise to marry someone does not have the same Sikhi values as you. A marriage partner should have the same basic goals/ideas of Sikhi as you or else it won't work out. Issues like Keski, Raag Mala, Naam Abiyaas, Nitnem size may seem small in the grand scheme of things but when it comes down to something like marriage, the nitty gritty details make a big difference.

The answer to this question will lead to a huge debate...i will leave it at that

Completely agree VeerJi. The difficulty is explaining this to my family who are really pushing this..It is probably wise to discuss the points you've mentioned to highlight that this is not a good idea. Thank you so much for your reply

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Blue Army
Must agree ^ with veerji above.

Thank you for sharing your opinion VeerJi!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fate.

Personally I am not a scholer or any one with a kamai whose opinion counts but I think it should not make a much difference as long as she follows the rehat fully as prescribed during Taksal Amrit Sanchar. There are some minor differences with in the panth but as long she is Amrtidhari Singni follows the Panthic Rehat to full, wears keski and does not eat meat, should be ok. If doubts do ardas to maharaj and and take Hukum. Don't just reject beacuse she has taken Amrit from Taksal or she does not accept the keski as kankar but wears it.

Like I said , please forgive me, as my understading of things might not be deep or correct enough.

I have refrained from posting on this forum for a very long time but I could not resist this time.

Why the hell does it matter is the partner is from another jatha? Does she/he not believe in the same Shabd Guroo?? It's things like this that give the jatha a bad name.

I seriously cannot believe this is a topic.

Bhul Chuk Marf.

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KamJSingh
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fate.

Personally I am not a scholer or any one with a kamai whose opinion counts but I think it should not make a much difference as long as she follows the rehat fully as prescribed during Taksal Amrit Sanchar. There are some minor differences with in the panth but as long she is Amrtidhari Singni follows the Panthic Rehat to full, wears keski and does not eat meat, should be ok. If doubts do ardas to maharaj and and take Hukum. Don't just reject beacuse she has taken Amrit from Taksal or she does not accept the keski as kankar but wears it.

Like I said , please forgive me, as my understading of things might not be deep or correct enough.

You are a Gursikh and I respect your opinion so thank you for sharing your thoughts. I understand the points you have raised and it looks as though everything is going ahead. Hopefully with Satguru's kirpa, everything will be okay as the Bibi does wear a keski and keeps strong rehit. Thank you once again!

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Not Worthy
I have refrained from posting on this forum for a very long time but I could not resist this time.

Why the hell does it matter is the partner is from another jatha? Does she/he not believe in the same Shabd Guroo?? It's things like this that give the jatha a bad name.

I seriously cannot believe this is a topic.

Bhul Chuk Marf.

I'm really sorry, I feel terrible I didn't mean to upset or offend anyone.. Of course we believe in one Satguru which is the main thing. Once again, I'm really sorry for speaking out of turn. I hope you will forgive me.

VahegurooJeeKaaKhalsaa
VahegurooJeeKeeFathehh

Bhaee Saheb Worthy Jeeo,

Daas wants humbly to point out a few things, please don't mind my straight approach.


Not Worthy Wrote:
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> I have refrained from posting on this forum for a
> very long time but I could not resist this time.



I am not entirely sure what purpose this comment served. You might not write here anymore, but clearly, you are still reading, which isn't much different.



> Why the hell does it matter is the partner is from
> another jatha? Does she/he not believe in the same
> Shabd Guroo?? It's things like this that give the
> jatha a bad name.



Veerjee, elder gurmukhs usually do a sanjog for the youngsters based on compatibility, which includes, rehit, kamayee, sikhee potential and the likes.
This is essential, in order for a sanjog to play out successfully, without any issues, so that gristh jeevan is free of any dukh or kalesh.
Marriages are successful when both partners tend to agree on issues, and approach them with a likeminded strategy.
Marriages have gone astray in the past, over what may seem simple issues from the outside.

Let's take a look at both sides of the coin.

Partner 1 believes in Keskee as Kakkar, never does dhil of seperating from keskee, sleeping, showering, he/she keeps their keskee safe and near and never allows any dhil in this rehit. Partner 2 ties a dastaar, but at the very same time, does not believe keskee to be a kakkar, and allows it to leave body during shower/sleep and does not let it bother their conscious as much as partner 1. Partner 1's perspective is that Partner 2 has committed a major dhil by seperating from keskee, but Partner 2 does not feel a sudhaaee, ardaas or peshee is necessary.

Couple wants to hold an Akhand Paath Saheb for their marriage or child, and 1 Partner insists that raagmala not be read at the end, whereas the other partner is outraged that Beadbee of Gurbaanee is being done by it not being read as it should be. With that being said, it will also become hard to find paathee singhs, for many will not participate in an Akhand paath concluding with raagmala, while many will not partake in an Akhand Paath concluding at Mundhaavani.

Veerjee, these above situations are the most common ones, with many more than arise with couples when beliefs are different. It's a sad world to live in, where two people following the same religion/faith cannot adjust due to allegiance to particular groups, yet nevertheless, our prime aim should be to arrange or suggest sanjogs which are healthy and will last, due to compatibility and similarity of beliefs/lifestyle.

These are REAL situations, and only those who are either stuck in something like this, or have witnessed others stuck in something like this can attest to it, and I sadly have been a witness to this situation.

The epidemic of divorce and separations is spreading amongst the panth and this is one simple way of avoiding it. It sounds ridiculous, but this is indeed the aftermath of couples, where partners come from different schools of thought.




> I seriously cannot believe this is a topic.




With that being said, I hope you can see, the simple need and wish of this praanee to have a healthy relationship with his/her partner and not suffer. Our duty is to do ardaas everyday that Maharaaj blesses our panth with Sojee and Bibek Budh so that we may unite on gurmat stances, up until then, if marrying in the same group is providing positive results, then why not go for it? Is it necessary to step into a mouse-trap?



> Why the hell does it matter is the partner is from
> another jatha? Does she/he not believe in the same
> Shabd Guroo??



Veerjee, we do all believe in the Same Akaalee Jyot present in Guroo Granth Saheb Jee, but not all agree on Sarbloh Bibek, not all agree on wearing Bana, not all agree on leaving open larhs in dastaar, not all agree on dhunee in keertan, this is the issue in ONE JATHAA only......what to speak of different groups.

Differences will exist for years to come. Gurmat Stances should not be compromised, no matter which side of the Sikkaa you stand upon. Saadee Vee Ektaa Atay Sarbat De Bhalay Dee Ardaas Hundee aa veerjee, not taksaal daa bhallaa or jathay daa bhalla.

Bhullaan Chukaan Daa Guneygaar Daas Hai Jee,

-Upkaar Singh

I wish there was one Amrit, one Rehit, one Sikhi. Then there wouldn't be so much diversity sorry if this is wrong <-
Bhul Chuk Maafi

daas123

clear as mud - madness

Vaaheguroojeekaakhalsaa Vaaheguroojeekeefatehh Jee...!!

Daas is a big morrakh so whatever advice Daas has on the issue should in noway be considered without vichaar...

We have a Bhenjee here from Jatha who was recently married to Singh from Taksaal. Trust me they have a lot of issues in their marriage just because of a different maryada. I hate to say this because we are all children of Guru Gobind Singh Jee Maharaj but the difference in the Maryaada make it really difficult to adjust. I totally agree with Bhai Upkaar Singh Jee... Rest Gurusahib knows better.