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During a Sikh camp a Singhni approached an older Gursikh who had a white flowing beard. She asked him if they could talk in private for a moment. They moved to a corridor just outside a hall, which contained the rest of the campers. She pointed out a young man, dressed in Khalsa blue from his Dastaar to his Chola. He looked beautiful in his bana and his face was radiant.
“Do you see him?” asked the Singhni.
“Yes I see him,” replied the Gursikh.
“I’ve been seeing him for a while now, but last night he beat me up,” said the Singhni.
Quite rightly there is much awareness about our Sisters waking up and staying alert from misguided men from other backgrounds with malicious intent. There have been many cases where Kaurs have fallen for their charms and unfortunately the outcome has been traumatic and devastating. But it is even sadder to say that even some Singhs are treating our sisters like anything but princesses.
I’m sure there are many stories similar and perhaps even more disturbing than mentioned above and every Singhni needs to be on guard with every Singh they encounter. For instance there have been cases where Singhs have simply used a Kaur just for sex and discarded of them when things have gotten too complicated for them.
Appearance means nothing and even though it’s tough not to have ideas of what someone is like by the way they look, you need to stay neutral and alert. A lot can be told by tuning into to people, taking in their energy, how their words come across, their body language, and most of all their actions. Unfortunately a lot of these signs can be hidden if your focus is on their physical appearance their charm and smiles. It’s so easy to get caught up in getting attention and the chemistry taking over, being showered with compliments and being fed what you want to hear.
When it comes to Singhs and especially considering a connection beyond friendship, ask yourself, would my Guru approve of this person. Think about the values that the Guru wants to instill in us all, Gurbani always on the edge of our tongue, selfless service, sweet speech, always acting with grace and respect. These are just to name a few.
The best thing is to be prepared instead of trying to wake up from the spell that some Singh’s can put on you. Using their proclaimed identity of being a Sikh as a camouflage to do what he wishes with you. When you’re in the thick of emotions perspectives and common sense is hazed and what takes over in that moment is the feelings you have developed about that person instead of what is right and best for you. Take action now, equip yourself with this mentality everyday and don’t be one of the Kaurs who have been burned by so-called Singhs.
Sometimes when Kaurs are burned by Singhs in these circumstances it’s hard for them to trust another Singh and this could even deter them from considering a Singh again and it’s so sad, because I’m sure there are so many genuine Singhs out there with beautiful bright souls and it hurts to know that they may not be given the opportunity to meet them.
We can only pray that the Guru Ji guides our Sisters, gives them strength and protection.
Hugging me close in His Embrace, He protects me, and now, even the hot wind does not touch me. ||18| - Guru Nanak Dev Sahib Ji
ਸਤਿਗੁਰਬਚਨਕਮਾਵਣੇਸਚਾਏਹੁਵੀਚਾਰੁ॥
