Simple rules for Discussions

I got my education in India and got no chance to formally learn the method of making good and fruitful discussions. I do feel, those who are living in developed countries or are educated from western universities or schools are better, in making logical and to the point discussions. They might have
learnt that during their formal education.

While interacting on this forum, I feel that, if we stick to some rules, we could reach logical consensus with minimum time and words. Time is precious for us. Can some learned Veer Jis/ Bhein Jis give a formal technique to make good and useful discussions.

Any literature for that? Otherwise we could suggest some rules, over here. Kirpa kro Ji.

Excellent topic, Bhai MB Singh jeeo. The biggest problem arises when we don't stay focused on the topic. This is one of the most fundamental requirement of having a sound Vichaar.

More suggestions are requested.

Kulbir Singh

Guru Amar Das Ji gives hukum to always regard a fellow Sikh as a Guru Ka Sikh
despite a person making mistakes due to lack of knowledge of Maryada. Guru Sahib says
we should help teach them maryada and if they dont listen we should still regard them as a Guru Ka Sikh.
ਜੇ ਕੋਈ ਗੁਰੂ ਨਾਲਹੁਂ ਭੁਲਦਾ ਹੋਵੈ ਤਾਂ ਸਮਝਾਵਣਾ, ਆਪਣੀਅਹੁੰ ਧਿਰਹੁੰ ਆਖਣਾ I ਜੇ ਮੰਨੇ ਨਾਹੀ ਤਾਂ ਓਹ ਜਾਣੇ ਏਹੁ ਆਖਣਾ ਗੁਰੂ ਕਾ ਹੈ

It has always been a Khalsa tradition to treat others especially others with reverence.In Prem Sumarag Guru Sahib
mentions many points regarding this topic on veechar.

ਅਰੁ ਜਹਾਂ ਜਹਾਂ ਜਾਇ ਸੰਗੁ ਇਕੱਠੇ ਹੋਨੇ ਦਾ ਹੋਵੈ, ਉਥੈ ਆਪਸ ਮੈਂ ਅਦਬ ਭਾਓੁ ਪਿਆਰ ਕਰਨਾ। ਬੈਠਣਾ ਅਦਬ ਨਾਲਿ, ਬੋਲਣਾ ਅਦਬ ਨਾਲਿ, ਪ੍ਰਸ਼ਾਦ ਖਾਣਾ ਪੀਣਾ
ਅਦਬ ਨਾਲਿ। ਐਸਾ ਚ ਭਾਓੁ ਕਰਨਾ ਆਪਸ ਵਿਚਿ ਜੋ ਜੈਸਾ ਸਿਖ ਗੁਰੂ ਦਾ ਅਦਬ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ । ਬਹੁਤ ਬੋਲਣਾ ਨਾਹੀ। ਬਾਣੀ ਸਬਦ ਨਾਲਿ ਪਿਆਰ ਰਖਨਾ.
Prem Sumarag

Some of the points include
1. Talking to Gursikhs with pyaar
2. Talking to Gursikhs with respect
3. Not speaking so much, meaning not engaging in idle talk
4. Keep love for Gurbani and this should be kept in mind when discussing Sikhi.

Many times on this form I have had opposing views then the majority. I wish such Gursikhs would learn to respect my different viewpoint. We all have different backgrounds, different role models, and different sangat, thus, there is always going to be a difference of opinions.

I will confess that I have lost my patience at times when people question rehatnamey or Sri Dasam Granth. THis is really something
I cant control. Lately I have built more patience for such people but still I would request people not be so quick to question Gurbani/hukums.
Purpose of SIkhi is get Sikhs to regards Gurus Hukums as sweet and to follow them with devotion, the goal is not to cause doubts about Guru Jis hukums.

Some of the points include
1. Talking to Gursikhs with pyaar
2. Talking to Gursikhs with respect
3. Not speaking so much, meaning not engaging in idle talk
4. Keep love for Gurbani and this should be kept in mind when discussing Sikhi.



These are very excellent points. When discussions get side-tracked, keeping tenants such as these in mind can very easily bring topics back on track.

It is important in a discussion to sometimes pause from trying to push our own views, in order to properly digest what others are saying. Otherwise, misunderstandings arise, and threads become very confusing.

It's also helpful for posters to revert back to the original post now and then. I've found myself getting so engaged in discussions that I almost forget what we were talking about to begin with, and then rather than constructive debate, it just becomes argumentation.

How about Simple - honest - truthful - transparency

SOmebody sent me a private message calling me a hypocrite for not following my own advice.He was
referring my post on this thread.

He is right I often dont speak how a Gurmukh should speak. Im a manmukh and Im still learning to act like
a Gurmukh; Im susceptible to make mistakes. What I posted is for the ideal Gurmukh. In no way am I claiming I speak like an ideal
Gurmukh. In fact, I wrote I often lose patience which we all know is a manmat quality .

Thank you Veer Sukhdeep Singh Ji for your first mail on this thread. That is very informative and guiding post from History. Respect and Pyaar for the fellow posters is must.That is a precondition here.For presenting our views, may be totally different from the others, we need to be very humble. Our views are immaterial and irrelevant for the purpose of this website, if we happen to lose RESPECT for others, in the process of sharing them. There are many posters here, who behave so sweetly and nicely always. Really humble posters. Balihaar.

This is how I feel, the SIKHI of our GURU is. I may be wrong in understanding it. But this is how I think at this moment. May be tomorrow I will think differently.You tried to explain this point, but I am still unable to understand how this could be a sikh way of life. Let others also share their views. I am sorry, I could not agree with you. This should be our approach I feel.

Although this may not count as a rule, but I think that when doing discussion people should not be too stubborn. If a Gursikh presents logical(according to Gurmat) arguments that make sense or are backed by the words of respected Gursikhs then we should also give up our stubbornness/ego and accept then maybe we can be wrong.

rsingh Veer Ji, You are correct. Not only if we are "may be wrong", even if we feel we are right, we should surrender our view point, in respect of others. After presenting a view, from different angles, if we are unable to convince others; it shows that we are poor in our presentation. So it is better to surrender at that stage, with due respect for others. Posters come from different backgrounds and are of different age groups. Views and priorities are related with age also. We should learn to enjoy the different views of different posters. All are correct.

I may be wrong Ji.