First slaps, then marriage...

We are all celebrating Siri Guru Gobind Singh jee`s Gurpurab. Couple of Saakhis have been written this year in remembrance of Siri Guru jee and here is the next little known but very interesting Saakhi of Guru Sahib jee.

Once Siri Guru jee along with Sangat was walking towards his Diwan. On the way, a Sikh was working on building a wall. He was working carelessly and without regard for the Sangat. As Sangat was passing by, some mud fell on Guru Sahib and Sangat, thereby spoiling their clothes. Siri Guru jee sensing the disregard for Sangat, on this Sikh`s part, ordered that this Sikh be given a slap.

As soon as the Sikhs walking along with Siri Guru jee heard the Hukam to slap this Sikh, they all rushed towards the Sikh and slapped him so seriously that he fainted. Siri Guru jee was very upset at the severe reaction of the accompanying Sikhs and addressing the Sangat said, ``He is our Sikh and you not only slapped him but kept hitting him even when his Dastaar fell off. You continued hitting his head and did not even give regard to his Hair. Anyone who dishonours our Sikh`s Hair is a big sinner.``

Hearing Guru Sahib, some Gursikhs replied that they had only fulfilled His Hukam of slapping this impertinent Sikh.

Siri Guru jee said that this Sikh`s offense was small but they had given disproportionate punishment to him. Guru Sahib further said that He had ordered only one Sikh to slap but they all had thrashed him heavily.

Guru Sahib sensed that the Sikhs had not fully realized their mistake. Guru Sahib said, ``you all claim to obey Guru`s Hukam to the fullest. Now we give Hukam that one of you give your daughter`s hand to this poor Sikh, for marriage.``

Hearing this Hukam from Guru Sahib, everyone was stunned and no one said anything or even moved a limb, to avoid any attention from Guru Sahib. Guru Sahib sensing their silence said, ``Bhai Sikho, Guru`s Sikh is one who obeys all Hukams and not just Hukams that suit him. It seems like you are Sikhs in name only.``

Hearing these strong words of Guru Sahib a Sikh by the name of Ajaib Singh from Kandhaar (Afghanistan), quickly spoke to his daughter and in a moment humbly said to Guru Sahib that he and his daughter were ready to obey Guru Sahib`s Hukam.

Guru Sahib was very pleased and declared ``Nihaal! Nihaal! O Sikh, you have kept the honour of Sikhi.``

Now that poor Sikh whose name was Kahn Singh said, ``O Satguru jee, I am a poor Sikh. I can`t get married.``

Before Guru Sahib could say anything, the bhujangan (daughter) came forward and said, ``As per Bachans (words) of Guru Sahib, my father has offered me for marriage to you. If you don`t get married to me, I will stay unmarried for rest of my life and serve Guru`s Sangat and will not go anywhere else.``

Siri Guru jee then addressed, Kahn Singh, ``O Kahn Singh, this Bhujangan is very virtuous. If you get married to her, obeying our Bachan, you will lead a very fruitful life. You will be blessed with 5 sons who will serve Guru`s house earnestly. There will be no shortage in your life.``

Kahn Singh obeyed Guru Sahib`s Hukam and got married to the Bhujangan. Thereafter he went to his town in Malwa and as per Guru Sahib`s boon had 5 Rehitvaan sons and had a very blessed and happy life.

Important lessons to learn from this Saakhi:

1. Hitting a Sikh is a sin.

2. Dishonouring a Sikh`s hair by hitting him on the head or pulling hair is a big sin.

3. We should obey all Hukams of Guru Sahib, and not only the ones we find profitable or easier to obey.

4. We should strive to keep Guru Sahib`s honour. When Guru Sahib asked for the hand of a daughter, and when a Sikh bowed his head before Guru Sahib, look how much Khushi Guru Sahib gave to the father and the daughter.

5. Such instances where we are blessed with a chance to do something for Panth don`t come in abundance and when we do get such chance, we should not let it go in vain.

6. The Bhujangan's faith in Guru Sahib was amazing. Such faith is required to gain the spiritual substance we want, from Guru Sahib.

Bhul Chuk dee Maafi jee.

Daas,
Kulbir Singh

Main source: Gurpratap Sooraj Prakash by Mahakavi Bhai Santokh Singh jee Choodamani.

veerjee? what collection is this sakhi taken from? i know i should be only looking at the positive, but there's something that really stung me when reading this sakhi.

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Thereafter he went to his town in Malwa and as per Guru Sahib`s boon had 5 Rehitvaan sons and had a very blessed and happy life.

now, why is guru sahib's boon to have five SONS? why not five rehetvaan daughters? why not five rehetvaan children? why are sons so much better than daughters than only sons are a boon? when did this sexist, male dominated attitude creep into sakhis about guru sahib? is it any wonder sikhs are still murdering their daughters?

sorry, i know people will say i shouldn't focus on these issues. but the idea of sons being "better" is so overwhelming in our society that people kill their own children over it. in that light, it's hard to ignore things like this.

I have also heard this story and if Guru Sahib said 5 sons were to be born we can't change it and replace it with 5 daughters because it is not politically correct

What are we going to say next, that in 1699 5 persons took amrit rather than Panj Piyare?

Great Saakhi Kulbir Singh Jee. Thanks for sharing this. May Guru Jee bless all his Sikhs with unshakable faith as Ajaib Singh and his daughter.

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I have also heard this story and if Guru Sahib said 5 sons were to be born we can't change it and replace it with 5 daughters because it is not politically correct

um, a sakhi is not gurbani. it's a story, told by a human being. it can be wrong... that's why i asked the source. the idea that boys are a boon and girls are not is not in accordance with gurmat. all sakhis must be looked at through the lens of gurbani, because human authors are inherently flawed.

my concern isn't about "political correctness", by the way. it's about the murder of an entire gender, because of the constant inundation of the idea that boys are somehow better than girls. the fact that we repeat this philosophy in our sakhis is disturbing and surely contributes to the trend.

The sakhi states that Guru Ji said "you will be blessed with 5 sons," and that is what happened. Who knows why it was sons instead of daughters, but that sentence doesn't suggest that sons are more blessed then daughters. For whatever reason Guru Sahib made that bachan and it came true. I'm sure if he had mentioned a daughter as well, Sakhees would have mentioned it.

You mention "Sikhs" murder daughters.

Nope. Wrong. They don't and never will.

I'd like to call them uneducated Punjabis/Indians.

There is nothing "Sikh" about them

The main source off the Saakhi is Gurpartap Sooraj Prakash, written by Mahakavi Bhai Santokh Singh jee.

To me, the Saakhi did not give the impression that it is sexist. Guru Sahib simply foretold the future that held 5 sons for the couple.

Secondly, given the ground realities of that time, it was an asset to have 5 faithful sons because it made the household strong. Back then, physical strength counted a lot and if a familty wished to have few sons in addition to daughters, it should not be seen as a sexist wish. What Guru Sahib prohibited is to kill daughters or not have them.

Given the political and social circumstances of that time, people liked to have many sons. It made them safer, and prosperous and that is fine. What is not fine is to frown at the thought of having daughters. Guru Sahib taught the society that daughters can be just as useful as sons but the society was not about to change over night. It still has not fully changed.

Rest, there is a chance that Guru Sahib had blessed the couple with the boon that they would have 5 children but what Daas wrote is based on the original text.

Guru Sahib knows the best.

Kulbir Singh

If we just get jot vigaas... We can know for sure
The best thing is to not think too much and let Guru Sahib give us the answers. I think it's ok to not be in agreeance with particular saakhi's, we can have our different views, the main thing is to let everything we are exposed to bring our minds more to become more purely focused on Guru Sahib.

Hanji SK jee, you summed it up

another reason is, you have to read the WHOLE saakhee to understand it I guess.

this reminded of people reading parts of dasam bani and raising questions

this sikh told guroo sahib

Now that poor Sikh whose name was Kahn Singh said, ``O Satguru jee, I am a poor Sikh. I can`t get married.``

5 sons = 5 additional sources of income in addition to Kahn Singh's income

guroo jee said
Siri Guru jee then addressed, Kahn Singh, ``O Kahn Singh, this Bhujangan is very virtuous. If you get married to her, obeying our Bachan, you will lead a very fruitful life. You will be blessed with 5 sons who will serve Guru`s house earnestly. There will be no shortage in your life.``

he said the bhujangan was virtous =)
didnt call Kahn Singh anything, simply said, obey my bachans

Thanks for the wonderful Sakhi Bhai Kulbir Singh ji!

Dhan are those who obey Guru Sahib's hukams and reap the rewards. Dhan Guru, Dhan Guru Piare!!!

1kaur - Do you accept Baba Budda ji crushed an onion and done the bachan to Mata Ganga ji that she would have a son - siri Guru Har Gobind sahib? Is this made up also since the bachan was that Mata ji would have a SON?

There is nothing shocking about the saakhi. Thanks for sharing this saakhi with us and please continue to share more.

H.S

oh dear. it seems i've been misunderstood- yet again. i'm sorry i'm so poor at explaining myself.

it's not wrong to tell a sakhi about how guru sahib took birth. however, if you look at the thousands of women who make pilgrimage to baba budha di bir gurdwara, in hopes that THEY will also have a son (bringing with them missi roti and onions), you can see how these things can get out of control. people turn sakhis and historical events into an excuse for ritual. while the sakhi may be real, what they've done with the story (ritualistic pilgrimage in hopes of giving birth to boys) is not gurmat.

i'm more worried about the larger picture here, where girl children are not valued, or are considered a burden. someone had mentioned that people who do that are not sikhs, but we have all heard stories of amritdharis who do this too, so clearly it's a deeply ingrained problem that needs to be addressed.

my point was not to discount the sakhi in it's entirety. my point was to take notice of the subtle things that contribute to this larger mindset of placing higher value on boys.

Bhai Kulbir Singh Jio,

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji ki Fateh

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Important lessons to learn from this Saakhi:
1. Hitting a Sikh is a sin.
2. Dishonouring a Sikh`s hair by hitting him on the head or pulling hair is a big sin.

Thanks for sharing the Sikhya jio. Are these blue turbaned men are Sikh? or they are the butchers of Mir Manu? They are pulling off pavitar kes of a Gursikh.


With Regards,
Daas

This incident occurred at Gurdwara Siri Dukh Nivaran Sahib, Patiala, few years ago. For sure, these members of SGPC Task Force are Masands along with Makkar who ordered this thrashing.

Kulbir Singh

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh


Bhai Kulbir Singh Jee,
I have a question with regards to the following points: (I appologise if this seems off-topic but it is very much in-line with the lessons, which we learn from this Saakhi)

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Important lessons to learn from this Saakhi:
1. Hitting a Sikh is a sin.
2. Dishonouring a Sikh`s hair by hitting him on the head or pulling hair is a big sin.
:UnQuote

1. As a Sikh one of the worst mistakes that can be made, is to commit a Bujjar Kurehit. In such an instance, is it allowed/not allowed to hit a Sikh? The best thing, i suppose, would be to get the Sikh peshed in front of Punj Piyare, ASAP, and let them decide the sazaa.

But it is appropriate/or not for other Sikhs to first beat him/her up and then take the matter in front of the Punj, in the unfortunate event of lets say, a Sikh found to be misbehaving/commit bujjar kurehit with any women (be it a daughter of the Khalsa or any one else)??

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

That's a very good question Tejasv jeeo. I guess when an Amritdhari person outrages a woman's modesty or otherwise indulges in Kaamic activity with some woman, then right at that moment such person loses the status of a Tyaar-bar-Tyaar Singh and as such deserves thrashing.

Kulbir Singh

i think it should be brought before the panj first... just as we wait until after a judge sentences someone to punish them, i think in this case we should also make sure they're really guilty first. panj piyaras can determine that better than an angry mob can.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Bhai Kulbir Singh Jee and Bhainjee 1kaur Jee thank you for your reply.

So this would mean that in circumstances where a Sikh makes a mistake (however grave it might be) but not bujjar kurehit ( so still tyar bar tyar), it is not appropraite to hit a Sikh and according to the above Sakhi such actions would not invite Guru Sahib's Khushi on the Sikhs who do it?

Please correct me if I am wrong. I am just trying to better understand Guru Sahib's Sakhi.