Is Marriage with Cousins allowed in Sikhi

Waheguru jee ka Khalsa Waheguru jee ki Fateh !!

Sangat jeeo...

It's my family tradition that elder people fix marriages among very close relatives...it was not in my eyes yet but now when elders have brought out one match of my bibi cousin(first Masi's daughter)with my veer cousin(second Masi's Son)..my bibi cousin who is very close to me asked me that she has no problem with him but b'cuz he is a cousin ...she can't say anything.....(both are born in two different states and in 25 yrs of their lives they never even met 12 times) ....both are very good and their families too...she asked me about this thing and i told her ..do what sangat says... so sangat jeeo please help us in this as we don't know Guru jee says about this thing...and do share your thoughts ....benti parvaan karna jeeo...

The family background I come from, marriage to cousins is a far thing, even marriage in the same village, or last name is not allowed. I realize that caste or last name does not have any significance in Sikhi but I have seen that when it comes to getting married in the same village or last name, even many Chardi Kala Gursikhs don't favour it. They argue that it is not about caste system but getting married in the same last name does not feel right to them because getting married to their own last name would amount to getting married to one's own brother or sister.

Few years ago, there was talk about marriage into the family of very Chardi Kala wale Gursikh from Bhai Sahib's times. when he was asked whether he gave caste any importance, this Gurmukh jee very humbly submitted that caste (so called low or high caste) had no significance to him except that it would be better that if the last names of the two were not same i.e. he was a bit hesitant (not totally against it) in getting couple from same last names getting married.

On the other hand, there are people, especially from the Rawalpindi (now in Pakistan) background, who have no qualms over getting married to even their first cousins. Majority of Sikhs (including Daas) feel that getting married to cousins amounts to incest. In our culture there is no word for "cousin" because cousins are considered as siblings. When we were growing up, we saw no difference between real siblings and cousins. Daughter of your Mama ji or Chacha ji was same as your own sister. No difference.

I have seen only one statement in Rehitnamas that prohibits one to get married to persons of same last name. It is quite possible that this Rehitnama is written by a person from Jat background and this condition may not have anything to do with Gurmat. If a person of the same last name is not even a very very distant relative, then perhaps there is nothing wrong in getting married to such person but there is still strong opposition to these kinds of marriages within the Sikhi culture.

The best thing is to consult senior Gursikhs of your area about this issue and take guidance from them.

Kulbir Singh

That's disgusting please for God's sake advise her that's not okay....uughuck

intermarrying between cousins can result in increased genetic disease of the offspring. so even if it's not mentioned in sikhi, it's clearly a bad idea from a scientific perspective. research the british royal family if you want more information about how it can effect the children of such unions...

both of them have different last names but as veerjeo and bibijeo said...i was also against this but this happened second time with my bibi, she said no for first time when it came for an elder cousin veer (third masi's son) but now when proposal of other veer.came after one year, her parents insisted her.(the reason behind their force was that bibi is very bad tempered and veer is very calm and his family members too..so they told her that they...simply...oh saddi bachi nu kaj lain ge).but from what veerjeo and bibijeo has said above seems like better if it does not happen,Guru jee would definitely find another calm and sweet person for her and Satbachan jeeo...

I personally also know some families in AKJ, who have gone for such marriages between first cousins. As Veer Kulbir Singh Ji has observed, those families are also non Jat and from Rawalpindi (Pakistan).

If possible, Veer Ji please quote the Hukamnama, you have referred about.