I Am Not Your Son
I am much more….Society has planted this idea in our heads that somehow to be a good daughter you have to step into the shoes of the son. Every time I do anything to make you proud, you use words of endearment meant for a son. It is always that’s my ‘beta’, never my ‘beti’. I know you fear for me, not because I am girl but because I am one day going to marry, leave you and then you can’t protect me. But today I want you to know that you will never have to worry about me because I am a proud Sikh. As a Sikh I am proud to be a daughter and have no desire or need to be a son because Waheguru Ji has taught to me to be happy with who I am, what I have. Not only be happy but be comfortable to learn new things so I can grow and be a better daughter, a better Sikh. In your home I learned to be a son, a mother and a friend.
Though I have not become your son, I have learned why you crave a son and filled that longing as a daughter. I went to work so I could lend you a hand with the household expenses. I never complained that I had to cook dinner with mom and work with you. I stood tall with you as you tried to make sure the Gurudwara Committee did the right thing. I didn’t balk at the fact, mom was not happy with me being so active in the Punjabi community because she didn’t want anyone to say anything about her daughter. I started helping the boys with their speeches and running things from the background. Every step of the way, I tried to be your son and moms daughter. But that was only possibly because I was your daughter. How many sons are there for both their parents? I showed you I could be your son by working 14 hour days when you were sick, so you could stay home and rest. But I showed you I am more than a son when I came home and forgot I had just been at work.
Coming home from work when it was just the two of us to find you sick, I forgot all about being tired. At that point I was no longer your son, your daughter but more of a mother. You refused to eat; I made your favorite food and coaxed you to eat. I turned on the tv and chatted with you while you ate, to take your mind of the pain. I was the one that pressed your legs for hours while I distracted with you my banter. Till you were finally feeling much better and wanting to go to the Gurudwara Sahib to thank Guru Ji. It was only after you had left, that I cried my heart out and set out to make dinner. I never let you see my tears, my tiredness and was always strong for you when mom was away.
When mom returned from her trips, I became your friend. I would join you in teasing mom and executing your crazy plans that mom never approved of. I listened with care whenever you were upset, and tried my best to advice you. But mostly I was always there for you, ready to listen. I never judged you when you were mad at mom, brother or anyone else that I knew and was close to. I tried my hardest to make our life fun and games and keep you happy.
I am more than your son; I am your daughter, mother and friend, too. I wish you wouldn’t limit me by making me your son when you are proud of me. I wish you would be proud of your daughter, which you raised right. That you would tell the world that any daughter raised right is more than just a son. That she is strong enough to play more than one role. A girl raised as a proper Sikh can never go wrong because she has two sets of parents. She has her birth parents and her spiritual parents (Guru Gobind Singh Ji and Mata Sahib Kaur) that are there to guide her every step of the way.
Be proud of a daughter as daughter and believe in your upbringing. She will always make you proud.
ਸਤਿਗੁਰਬਚਨਕਮਾਵਣੇਸਚਾਏਹੁਵੀਚਾਰੁ॥
