Planning To Leave The World?

My dear friend that I am really close with is planning to leave grist jeevan and going to a derea and serve brahmgianis for the rest of his life. He says that in grist jeevan spirtual progress is very hard... Anyway he has posted this on another forum but I personally want to know the views from here. So that I can best advise my friend. Please HELP.

Anyway this is what he wrote on another forum:

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VJKK VJKF

Sangat ji das wants to know if there are any dereh in India that are in line with gurmat. Das is currently in uni and wants to leave and and spend his life doing simran and reading bani and be in company of a saint/s to help him reach high avasta and meet god. Currently das is amritshak but wants to leave as das sees no point in living here.

Also das can't see any spirtual progress but das has been praying hard for years now which das completely owes to guru but still no progress. Das has tried so hard but can't see a way forward in this way of living but das knows about many sadhus and saints that are of high avasta. So das wants to spend life with them to progress. Also das with the help of guru has persuaded das's other amritdhari friend who was going to marry, to break his marriage engagement and to join him as he feels the same way.

Anyway sangat ji please can you provide a list of dereh that will help please.

Vaheguru sareh di madat kareh.

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Also das with the help of guru has persuaded das's other amritdhari friend who was going to marry, to break his marriage engagement and to join him

ਆਸਾ ਮਹਲਾ ੧ ॥
Aasaa, First Mehl:

ਚਾਰੇ ਕੁੰਡਾ ਢੂਢੀਆ ਕੋ ਨੀਮ੍ਹ੍ਹੀ ਮੈਡਾ ॥
I have searched in the four directions, but no one is mine.

ਜੇ ਤੁਧੁ ਭਾਵੈ ਸਾਹਿਬਾ ਤੂ ਮੈ ਹਉ ਤੈਡਾ ॥੧॥
If it pleases You, O Lord Master, then You are mine, and I am Yours. ||1||

ਦਰੁ ਬੀਭਾ ਮੈ ਨੀਮ੍ਹ੍ਹਿ ਕੋ ਕੈ ਕਰੀ ਸਲਾਮੁ ॥
There is no other door for me; where shall I go to worship?

ਹਿਕੋ ਮੈਡਾ ਤੂ ਧਣੀ ਸਾਚਾ ਮੁਖਿ ਨਾਮੁ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
You are my only Lord; Your True Name is in my mouth. ||1||Pause||

ਸਿਧਾ ਸੇਵਨਿ ਸਿਧ ਪੀਰ ਮਾਗਹਿ ਰਿਧਿ ਸਿਧਿ ॥
Some serve the Siddhas, the beings of spiritual perfection, and some serve spiritual teachers; they beg for wealth and miraculous powers.

ਮੈ ਇਕੁ ਨਾਮੁ ਨ ਵੀਸਰੈ ਸਾਚੇ ਗੁਰ ਬੁਧਿ ॥੨॥
May I never forget the Naam, the Name of the One Lord. This is the wisdom of the True Guru. ||2||
ਜੋਗੀ ਭੋਗੀ ਕਾਪੜੀ ਕਿਆ ਭਵਹਿ ਦਿਸੰਤਰ ॥
Why do the Yogis, the revelers, and the beggars wander in foreign lands?

ਗੁਰ ਕਾ ਸਬਦੁ ਨ ਚੀਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਹੀ ਤਤੁ ਸਾਰੁ ਨਿਰੰਤਰ ॥੩॥
They do not understand the Word of the Guru's Shabad, and the essence of excellence within them. ||3||

ਪੰਡਿਤ ਪਾਧੇ ਜੋਇਸੀ ਨਿਤ ਪੜ੍ਹਹਿ ਪੁਰਾਣਾ ॥
The Pandits, the religious scholars, the teachers and astrologers, and those who endlessly read the Puraanas,

ਅੰਤਰਿ ਵਸਤੁ ਨ ਜਾਣਨ੍ਹ੍ਹੀ ਘਟਿ ਬ੍ਰਹਮੁ ਲੁਕਾਣਾ ॥੪॥
do not know what is within; God is hidden deep within them. ||4||

ਇਕਿ ਤਪਸੀ ਬਨ ਮਹਿ ਤਪੁ ਕਰਹਿ ਨਿਤ ਤੀਰਥ ਵਾਸਾ ॥
Some penitents perform penance in the forests, and some dwell forever at sacred shrines.

ਆਪੁ ਨ ਚੀਨਹਿ ਤਾਮਸੀ ਕਾਹੇ ਭਏ ਉਦਾਸਾ ॥੫॥
The unenlightened people do not understand themselves - why have they become renunciates? ||5||

ਇਕਿ ਬਿੰਦੁ ਜਤਨ ਕਰਿ ਰਾਖਦੇ ਸੇ ਜਤੀ ਕਹਾਵਹਿ ॥
Some control their sexual energy, and are known as celibates.

ਬਿਨੁ ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦ ਨ ਛੂਟਹੀ ਭ੍ਰਮਿ ਆਵਹਿ ਜਾਵਹਿ ॥੬॥
But without the Guru's Word, they are not saved, and they wander in reincarnation. ||6||

ਇਕਿ ਗਿਰਹੀ ਸੇਵਕ ਸਾਧਿਕਾ ਗੁਰਮਤੀ ਲਾਗੇ ॥
Some are householders, servants, and seekers, attached to the Guru's Teachings.

ਨਾਮੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਇਸਨਾਨੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜੁ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤਿ ਸੁ ਜਾਗੇ ॥੭॥
They hold fast to the Naam, to charity, to cleansing and purification; they remain awake in devotion to the Lord. ||7||

ਗੁਰ ਤੇ ਦਰੁ ਘਰੁ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਸੋ ਜਾਇ ਸਿਞਾਣੈ ॥
Through the Guru, the Gate of the Lord's Home is found, and that place is recognized.

ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਮੁ ਨ ਵੀਸਰੈ ਸਾਚੇ ਮਨੁ ਮਾਨੈ ॥੮॥੧੪॥
Nanak does not forget the Naam; his mind has surrendered to the True Lord. ||8||14||

vgkk vgkf, i m really pleased to hear the thirst u have for parmarath
jis jan ko prabh daras piassa , nanak tan ke bal bal jaasan

i believe that guru sahabs guarantee that if the singh is 100% in his rehat that includes the sarabloh bibek ,amritvela ,nitnnem complete,wearing banna , cold water ishnaan,speaking less(to the point),controlled vision over other women,doing sewa at guru ghar,and the most of it to reciete the naam at every breath - i know reciting naam is the toughest job, we cant do it ourself but if by gurus grace we r quite perfect in our rehats guru jis automatically bless us with this amolak daatt

there is no doubt that doing sant jan sadh jans seva or to be with them had an instant increase in simran but i also think while doing ur kirat ,to be in ur rehat(completely),doing saas saas simran and then doing GURSIKHS seva and sangat ,AKAL PURAKH WAHEGURU would then also be please on u

sometimes i also think the same as u guys do becuse the problem is that while we r on work ,or studing we have to go through so many persons so many mental work that to recite naam in that condition becomes bearable. i may tell u something from my personal experience - i used to work at my dads restuarant living here in US but the severe problem i faced was that mine work was to interact with the customers ,to tell them abt the food etc, i have to use my tongue and mind for doing that and was really hard for me to reciete naam for those10-12 hours and while reaching home i feel completely exausted, and sometimes i even missed my sodar paath.then guru ji make me decide to hell with such a kind of work by which im missing my pritam,now i have to get on to truck as my hands and feets would be working but no use of the tounge and mind.

haath paaon kar kaam sabh ,cheet niranjan naal

in the same manner if u guys have problem with ur jobs ,studies u can change to other options

if u singhs are quite sure over ur rehat,u would definately be blessed with naam and u can perform all those things while living in ghrist
.
i belive that u can explain NAAM as MEDICINE and all the REHATS as the PRECAUTIONS which we use while taking medicine,its quite undersoodable that if we would keep on taking medicines and would not take any precautions,the effect of medicine would be very less

mukdi gall - we have to recite naam saas saas ,khin khin , pal pal, rom rom,ghari ghari as per any conditions in ghrist or whatever



guru kirpa kare ji
fateh

If it is difficult here, it will be difficult there too. One gains experience, of course, wandering here and there. I do not see any dera worthwhile. The homes of Gursikhs are purest places or palaces. Getting married and living simple is the easiest way to keep the lamp burning. How young educated brains can be satisfied by dera people, I wonder?

Bhein Ji has posted a beautiful Shabad, in the context. Perfect.

Only Guru and not the dera people, can satisfy his quest. It will be better alone than in Dera company.

ਗੁਰ ਤੇ ਦਰੁ ਘਰੁ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਸੋ ਜਾਇ ਸਿਞਾਣੈ ॥

I feel this young singh is LUCKY. He has strong poorble karam BUT HE NEEDS A BIT OF GUIDANCE, THATS IT.

He seems to have become UDAAS from this world which is a good thing. Its a good idea to visit Punjab and spend some time with rehit keeping gurmukhs. But one shud be careful as there is lots of wrong stuff happening in deraas. I would personally suggest that this singh shud spend time at DAMDAMI TAKSAL JATHA BHINDRAN. Baba jee over there is very old but is an amazing gurmukh. He keeps strong rehit including dietary bibek. I personally feel Baba jee is either brahamgyani or very close to being one and his sangat can change a person's life.
If I was this singh, i would spend a couple of years at this taksal. After I develop a good avastha, I will see whehter to go back to UK or stay in Punjab.

It is a great intention for one wanting to be the dust of the holy saints; a true Bibekee always wants to keep the sangat of Gurmukh Saints. However, keep in mind GUru Sahib says the holy saints are rare it is not so easy to find such saints. Rare Saints keep Gupt they dont advertise there whereabouts. The problem is in India these " Sant Deras" are in abundance. The amount of Sant Deras in Punjab is like the amount of McDonalds we have in the West. They come a dime a dozen and they are always looking for fresh meat to use and abuse. If one finds a false saint and serves them there is a high price one must face ( rebirth). By serving the Gurus Sangat at the Gurus house we are destined to end the coming and goings of this world.

By going to the GurGhar and to do seva we cant go wrong. The true sants secretly come to the Gurdwara Sahib the same way Shaheed Singhs always come to the Gurdwara Sahib . Since this Singh lives in the UK he should not have a hard time finding a Gurdwara where he can spend his time usefully doing seva. There is a Gurdwara in Coventry that has Naam Abhyiaas 7 days a week, and there is a Gurdwara Sahib in Smethwick that has sangat coming in and out throughout the day where sevadars are needed. Your friend should not be so concerned about only wanting to serve those Gurmukhs whom have reached the highest spiritual level; serving Naam Abhyiaasi- Rehatvan Singhs is equivalent to serving Guru Sahib there is much laha to be gained in this service.

fateh singhon , as we are having quite similar inspirations ,let me share some thoughts of mine with u,

u singhs can make a try urself, u can take a long vacation and head urself forward towards darbar sahibh because that is the supreme dera .
there we have bhai sahibh bhai randhir singh ji trust, from there u can get ur sarbloh parshada.we have very tiarbar tiar ,puratn,chardi kale wale singhs over there ,whom r quite pakke in their rehats,used to have regular naam abhias over there,u can get an oppurttunity to be in seva and sangat of these singhs(they r equivilant to sant and sadh jans) ,u can get plenty of their jhoothe BAATEAN di seva, enjoy amritvela with them and whenever u get time u could be in GURU RAMDAS JIs sharan at darbar sahibh,
what else u need for chardi kala
das khima da jhachak hai

guru ji is always blessing

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

My personal view: If there is such an impasse in one's life and one is a Gursikh, why not ask the Guru Roop Punj Pyare? I recall the story of one Gursikh who had a similar issue. He was frustrated that he was not progressing in his spirituality, so he went to speak to Guru Sahib in Punj Pyare roop. They asked him how much Simran he does in the morning...he responded a few minutes here and there. They replied there's your problem and gave him a Rehat of a MINIMUM amount of time to do Simran.

His life is changed completely from then onwards. Guru Sahib has set the example throughout 9 of the ten human bodies that the married life is perfectly in line with Gurmat. Many Gursikhs' lives are shining examples of that. If he/she feels that a dera is really that necessary, please tell your friend to REALLY research that option thoroughly and to make sure that the Mahapurakh is genuine and not a fraud. Gursikhs like Baba Thakur Singh Damdami Taksal were also destined to such seva, but it is not meant for everyone and one should understand that becoming a Bihangam is not an easy life. One should be completely committed to the idea and be willing to setp down from such a role if they are not mentally capable of fulfilling its requirements while keeping a Gursikh mind at all times. Convincing others and taking them away from committments that have already been made is not ideal and may prove to the detriment in the long term. The Catholic church scenario is quite an apparent example of what can go wrong.

Dukh Daaroo Sukh Rog Bhaya...

All the challenges we meet in a Grehstee Jeevan help us in remembering Guroosaaheb more often than living in deras or what so ever because running away from life is not gonna help one's jeevan in any way... the siddhs and jogees did the same... but guroo saaheb in his 52 bachans have ordered us to do naam kamaayeee in grehstee jeevan..

Bhul Chuk Dee Khimaaa... Daas doesnt know anything..

VaaheguroojeekaakhalsaaVaheguroojeekeefatehh...

It’s very hard to live the life of a Bihungam (celibate) and in Gurmat there is no need to live the life of a celibate. Gurmukhs live a Gristhee life but they live like lotus lives in water. The lotus flower grows in water but does not get wet; same way a Gurmukh lives in this world a life of a householder but does not get indulged in Maya.

A Gurmukh earns honest earnings, and fulfills his responsibilities while being engaged in Naam Abhyaas all day long. Such is the pious life of a Gurmukh that a million Jatis-Satis, Yogis, Rishis and Sidhas can’t reach that spiritual level that a Gurmukh reaches.

If one does not get Jyot Vigaasi Avastha then living a life of a celibate really takes toll on one’s spirituality because without Jyot-Vigaasi Avastha one cannot bring Kaam fully under control and unexpected attacks by Kaam, especially when one reaches middle age, leaves one frustrated. Our Guru Sahibaan have shown us by example that we should lead a life of a householder and live in this world like lotus lives in muddy water.

Guru Sahib knows better.

Kulbir Singh

gallin haun sohagan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> fateh singhon , as we are having quite similar
> inspirations ,let me share some thoughts of mine
> with u,
>
> u singhs can make a try urself, u can take a long
> vacation and head urself forward towards darbar
> sahibh because that is the supreme dera .
> there we have bhai sahibh bhai randhir singh ji
> trust, from there u can get ur sarbloh
> parshada.we have very tiarbar tiar ,puratn,chardi
> kale wale singhs over there ,whom r quite pakke in
> their rehats,used to have regular naam abhias over
> there,u can get an oppurttunity to be in seva and
> sangat of these singhs(they r equivilant to sant
> and sadh jans) ,u can get plenty of their jhoothe
> BAATEAN di seva, enjoy amritvela with them and
> whenever u get time u could be in GURU RAMDAS JIs
> sharan at darbar sahibh,
> what else u need for chardi kala
> das khima da jhachak hai
>
> guru ji is always blessing


Pyare veer, what u have stated is ideal case scenario but the singh in question seems be inclined towards Sant-samaaj and there are lots of false stories about Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh Jee floating there. So I doubt he will be moving towards AKJ.
Among all the sant samaj deraas in punjab, I feel the dera at Jatha Bhindran is the most in accordance with Gurmat as the Baba Jee over there is a very gurmukh soul. The gurdwara there is in the village of ramgariaas and whatever maya gets collected at Gurdwara, Baba jee gives it to some other nearby Gurdwara. Gurdwara SAhib has a bit of land and singhs do kheti over there and whatever they get from that is used to run the Gurdwara.
Baba jee keeps strong dietary bibek and has been keeping it for years.

I 100% agree with bhai kulbir Singh Ji , until one is not jot vigasi like Gurmukh piarre dr. Surinder Singh Ji ,it's really hard to fight lifelong with the inner vikars such as kaam, ghrissth covers everything . Example - if one is not ghristhee , if kaam overcomes and one is bieng disturbed by some negative thoughts , now for a gurskh this is supousse to be a Paap.