Trends Occuring

Some Gursikhs pointed out to me about trends occuring in Gursikh weddings, which seem to be from the Christian faith. They don't seem to make any sense or be related to Sikhee Rehat in anyway. Shaheed Bhai Ragbir Singh Jee was affirm on his Rehat/Asools and didn't even have a Milnee at his Anand Kaaraj as well as many other Highly Spiritual Gursikhs. His Jeevanee can be read here Jeevanee

The whole point of the Smagam is to Sing, Listen, Read GurbaNee & In this way we are also doing SatSangat

1. Having Cha & Samosa before Anand Kaaraj & Eating off Tables or sitting on Chairs

One should not eat before Anand Kaaraj, everyone should have Langar together at the end of the Smagam. Siree Asa Dee Vaar Keertan should be done before Anand Kaaraj. This is how Gursikhs should do the "Milnee" through singing GurbaNee together. Eating were tables and chairs are used is against basic Rehat Maryada.

2. Walking in Late whilst Keertan is going on

To walk in late during your Anand Kaaraj is doesn't seem right. Normally in Churches the bride walks in 1 hour late on purpose. This seems to be happening at Gursikh weddings. The Singh & Singhnee should be at the start of the Smagam taking full Laaha and Guru Sahib Jees Kushiaan.

3.Bride walking in with Maids/Flower Girls

Again this trend seems to be adopted from Christianity. The Bride walks in with other Bibiyan. Surely we should be there for the Keertan and not looking nice going into Darbar Sahib and Sangat. This may cause a lot commotion and distract people listening to Keertan. Normally the talking goes up as both individuals enter Darbar Sahib, this is because they come after everyone else has sat down in Sangat. Thus as stated in previous point one should there at the start on the Smagam focusing on Gur-Shabad.

4.Inappropriate Appearance

Wearing make up/jewellery & loose clothing is against Gurmat & GurbaNee. This has been discussed many times before!
Other bibiyan which are not Amritdharee have also said to Singhs "That is seems like there are 50 brides in the Divan, they look more dressed up than people who are on catwalks and they all wear dastars!". Please read this regards to this Boloh Vaheguru

Both Individuals & Gursikhs attending the Smagam should have simple plain Gurmat clothing. Singhs would be in a Chola/Kurta Pyjama. Bibiyan Chola/Plain Punjabi Suit.

5.Flashy Cars/Carriages Etc

I don't agree with Flashy Cars,Carriages etc. It is a show of power, the individuals should stay amidst in the Sangat and shouldn't stand out. As it can possibly become a ego thing that you have such luxury for your Smagam and then it becomes all about me me me! Vahegurooo.

There are more points, I can't remember them at this moment. Please share your veechara jee
Bhul Chuk Dee Kima for anything that may have offended anyone.

ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂਜੀਕਾਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ
ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂਜੀਕੀਫ਼ਤਹਿ

Vista Wrote:
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> Wearing make up/jewellery & loose clothing is
> against Gurmat & GurbaNee.

I think you meant tight clothing jee

and what's with the crazy colors? red? pink? come on!

oh well... not much we can do about it i guess. most of the time the fancy suits, cars, make up, jewelry, etc are parents or relatives pressure anyway. a lot of dastaar wale singhnia these days don't come from jatha families, and they give in to mom's pressure. it's hard to disobey your parents, especially when they've just shelled out all those dollars to pay for a wedding... what can you do?

but thanks for posting, you're making a very good point!

When Bhai Sahib was in jail, Bau Mal Singh jee and other Gurmukhs laid down some rules for Anand Karaj. Daas will try to post them. The rule of thumb is that Gurmat promotes simplicity. Showing off wealth or doing much pomp and show is getting indulged in Maya.

Kulbir Singh

Having been married, since long, I am not going to be affected by these Simplicity Rules. So, I can have courage to agree to these points except one.

One should not eat before Anand Kaaraj, everyone should have Langar together at the end of the Smagam.

Kirpa Karo Ji, give some relaxation. Sometimes it is very difficult to sit in the Smagam without having food. And especially, when you know there are some sweets in the Langar Haal, waiting for you.

I agree with MB Singh, some of these views are very harsh, I don't think everyone shares these views. Guroo Sahb said pehla pangat fer sangat.

Very nice thoughts Vista ji. Most of your observations are correct. The height of worldy actions that are happening today at anand karajs of gursikhs is on a high. The great gurmat marayada of anand karaj amongst even amritdharis has become so laxed that there is not much difference of anand karajs of manmukhs and gursikhs. So much money is wasted on hiring cars, selecting fancy outfits, cakes and even some cases halls. The introduction of the white concept of 'braids maids' and the 'bride' carrying flowers seems hidious. Could one imagine any gurmukh bibi from the past carrying flowers instead of sri sahib? All this does not seem fit for a gursikh anand karaj.

It has to be agreed with other forum members that the 'no eating before anand karaj' seems a little odd although the point of no tables and chairs is an important one. It is becoming more of the norm at even gursikh anand karajs to cater for their guests with tables and chairs for 'cha pani'.

H.S

Quote

When Bhai Sahib was in jail, Bau Mal Singh jee and other Gurmukhs laid down some rules for Anand Karaj. Daas will try to post them. The rule of thumb is that Gurmat promotes simplicity. Showing off wealth or doing much pomp and show is getting indulged in Maya.

Kulbir Singh

Please share this soon.

H.S

What i meant by not eating before hand is, that 95% of weddings take place morning time. So then in a Gursikhs routine he/she would have done Amritvela, Got Tyaar and then went to the Smagam. Surely we can hold our worldly hunger for a few hours and try to indulge in Spiritual Food.

Here are another points that come to mind

6.No Sikheeya Given Before Ardas Arambh Of Anand Kaaraj

Puratan Gursikhs would always give Sikheeya to the Gursikhs getting married. This seems to have been lost.
The Singh and the Bibi were made to stand in front of Siri Guru Granth Sahib jee and an elderly gursikh explained to them the duties and obligations of a husband and wife, according to Gurmat. The Singh was told what the duties, obligations and expectations were on him to carry out after marriage and similarly the Bibi was told the same. In the end, they were asked to matha-tek before Siri Guru Granth Sahib jee, if they agreed to it.

"There is a written record that during the times of Bhai Sahib Bhai Randhir Singh jee, the sikhiya (explaining duties of marriage) was done before the Anand Kaaraj and only if both agreed to adhere to the conditions of Gurmat marriage, their Anand Kaaraj was done. Professor Thakur Singh who has written the life of Bayoo Mal Singh jee, has explained all this in his book "Poorab Janam ke Milai Sanjogi". Bayoo Mal Singh jee himself used to give sikhiya to the couple."

The above is taken from Bhai Kulbir Singh Jees post many years ago.

7.Anand Sahib or Bliss Of Maya

It seems that whenever it is time for the end of the Smagam. As soon as Anand Sahib starts everybody gets up and starts throwing money at the Ragis. 200 people getting up at the same time is going to cause big problems. The talking goes through the roof and one can barely hear the Keertan. If someone is focusing on Gur-Shabad and normally everybody gets up and knocks into the person, then this is wrong.

8.Photographers

Also there seems to be way to many Camera Men, flashing and filming at Anand Kaarajs. Surely one is enough?
During the Ardas & Hukamnama they don't show much respect they just keep taking pictures.

There was a small incident at a Rensbhai which took place at Bibeksar Sahib, Amritsar. During the Hukamnama the photographer just kept taking pictures and was really in way of the Granthi Singh reading the Hukamnama. One Singh from the Sangat got up and couldn't tolerate the disrespect that was taking place. When the Hukamnama or Ardas happens one should show satkaar two hands folded. When we plea before the King Of Kings, Listen to Command of Poora Satguru then wouldn't be doing these.

We all want that perfect picture, but the only perfect picture, time, moment, day etc for us should be

ਸੁਭ ਦਿਵਸ ਆਏ ਗਹਿ ਕੰਠਿ ਲਾਏ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਊਚ ਅਗਮ ਅਪਾਰੇ
Auspicious is that day, when God, the lofty, inaccessible and infinite, hugs me close in His embrace.

ਸਭ ਤੋਂ ਉੱਚਾ ਅਪਹੁੰਚ ਤੇ ਬੇਅੰਤ ਪ੍ਰਭੂ (ਜਿਨ੍ਹਾਂ ਵਡ-ਭਾਗੀਆਂ ਨੂੰ) ਫੜ ਕੇ ਆਪਣੇ ਗਲ ਨਾਲ ਲਾ ਲੈਂਦਾ ਹੈ ਉਹਨਾਂ (ਦੀ ਜ਼ਿੰਦਗੀ) ਦੇ ਭਾਗਾਂ ਵਾਲੇ ਦਿਨ ਆ ਜਾਂਦੇ ਹਨ

Bhul Chuk Dee Kima
Only Guru Sahib is perfect and can bestow Pooran Bibek Budhi

ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂਜੀਕਾਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ
ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂਜੀਕੀਫ਼ਤਹਿ

Wonderful thoughts!

Good points Vista jee. Photographers do a lot of Beadbi while taking pictures. Many times, Gursikhs get uneasy feeling when Monnay and non-Amritdhari photographers run around where Degh is kept. The Pehredaar Singhs have to keep a lot of vigil then. With new technology in place, perhaps better ways to take pictures should be invented e.g. fixed cameras around Guru Sahib so that the photographers don't take laavaa along with the couple (as is the practice now).

Vista jee's observation about Siri Anand Sahib Kirtan is valid. Siri Anand Sahib Kirtan is done at the conclusion of a Gurmat Samagam and normally, this time should be the peak of one's spiritual concentration but it has been noticed that many in Sangat consider it to be an unnecessary activity. If we place our Surthee in the meanings of this great Baani, the Mind feels Vismaad. The Second pauri is so comfort-giving. The third Pauri gives us so much assurance about Vaheguru jee's merciful and giving nature. His House has everything. Siri Anand Sahib is Anand.

Kulbir Singh